This afternoon I reconnected with my niece Sirkka (Laurel’s daughter) and met my grand nephew Abdullah (age 13) for the first time. We had a whee of a time, as you can see from some of the images below!
(The images below are from Sirkka’s camera)
And get this. Sirkka and Abdullah are committed to using my preferred pronouns!
Yeah, it took some getting used to, but Sirkka says she has been practicing for a while. How cool is that?! Warms the cockles of my heart, truly!
It isn’t easy to switch someone’s pronouns after decades of using them. Anyone who makes the effort is a champion in my eyes! I even screw up my own pronouns at times, so I get it! I’m getting better at it as time goes on, but since everyone else in my family still refers to me as she and her, it’s what I hear most often. I don’t like it, but I don’t like a lot of what’s going on right now politically and relationally among people who (one would think and hope) should be more respectful of each other’s druthers. It isn’t a hill I’m willing to die on, so I just let it go, to keep the peace (or the detente, whichever it is). The good news is that everyone else (outside my immediate nuclear family) uses my correct pronouns: doctors, friends, clients, etc. (I certainly dress the part, so they see the cues and honor my truth.)
Oh! And Abdullah told me he is “a bit of a feminist.” It’s terrific, IMO, that a 13 year old is even pondering stuff like that at his age.
I think Sirkka has done an amazing job of raising him. They are still crazy about each other. That’s so evident, and so refreshing to see between a teenager and his mom.
I have been proclaimed FUN by Abdullah. Sirkka told me that she told him I was fun beforehand, but he confirmed it when she left the table at the Chinese restaurant to visit the restroom, so I’m a happy camper.
And Abdullah knows about DeForest Kelley and is interested in learning about my friendship with him! He loves writing, art and acting, too. (So does Sirkka!) It appears I’ve found the segment of my family that resonates to some of the same creative vibrations I do. (Sirkka is the author of The Third Thing, an engaging love story that keeps readers on the edge of their seat. She writes mostly fiction. I write mostly nonfiction, but we’re both writers at heart.)
We’ve decided this is just the first of a series of get togethers that we’ll have this summer and beyond. The 5 1/2 half hours we shared today simply weren’t enough; all they did was whet our appetite. It did give us time to know that we want to spend more time together. (And for two introverts like Sirkka and me, that’s saying a lot! Abdullah, fortunately, is outgoing and gregarious. He kept things lively on the rare occasions that Sirkka and I lapsed into silence today!)
