Every year, for the few weeks preceding Valentine’s Day, I remind people what a great “lover” (healer and friend) DeForest Kelley was.
This year is no different.
THE PERFECT FRIEND
If asked what the perfect friend would be like (for me), the answer would be De.
Why?
He was level-headed, kind, compassionate, intelligent, well-read, and he had a terrific sense of humor. Even when frustrated, he was considerate of other people’s feelings. On the rare occasions when he critiqued or corrected me, he always did so with such affection in his voice that I welcomed what he had to say and took it very much to heart.
I never felt “less than” around him.
(Oh, at first, of course, before we became face-to-face, long-term friends, I considered myself “less than” him. I worried I would be “intruding” when I asked him for an autograph that first time as he waited in a convertible with Carolyn (his wife) to be driven to become part of a parade in Wenatchee ,Washington. And the first time I had an actual sit-down-and-have-dinner with the Kelley’s, I was a nervous wreck, worried I would screw it up somehow and that would be the end of my hope that they would ever become truly like family to me.(If you’ve read my book DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal, you know about those nighttime dreams I had for years after meeting them in Wenatchee in 1968.)
FRIENDS HELP YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE
The Kelley’s made sure that I felt comfortable around them. Carolyn shared with me how nerve-wracked she was when she was given the chance to meet her favorite actor, Dennis Morgan, several times during her life. (De knew Dennis as a fellow actor and wanted to introduce her to him.) As much as she would have loved to meet him, she refused; her nerves always got in the way. So, she had my number (long before she ever told me of her own panic when being offered the opportunity to meet her idol) and she and De made it as easy as possible for me to take them off the pedestal I had put them on.
GREAT FRIENDS WELCOME YOU WITH SMILES AND OUTSTRETCHED ARMS
Very few people have the ability to help you feel truly accepted, beloved, and welcome right off the bat. De was among the few who could. When my sister Jackie finally met him, at some point they embraced, and she told me afterward, “I have never been hugged like that before in my life. It was like I could have stayed in his arms for ten minutes, and he would have let me. Not anything sexual or predatory; just pure comfort and affection.” Eggs-ack-ly! Ding, ding, ding. BINGO! That’s the perfect description of a De hug.
He was the best kind of “lover.” He was a true gentleman.
GREAT FRIENDS DON’T JUST “APPEAR” TO BE GREAT
After he died, the people I knew at Warner Bros. and elsewhere who had never met him but knew that I knew him (and before I wrote my books about him) would say, “He seemed like such a nice person…”
I quickly let them know that he WAS a nice person, which relieved their minds. Because Hollywood people know, as few others do, how wrong a perception they can have about actors until they meet them. Once the bloom is off the rose (which frequently happens instantly), it’s hard to put that genie back into the bottle. Most actors, sadly, don’t (and some simply can’t) live up to fans’ expectations and failing to do that feels very much like a personal betrayal.
GOOD FRIENDS MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS
De didn’t just meet my expectations; he exceeded them, and he did it with such apparent ease and grace that it seemed effortless and as natural to him as breathing. He was just a great guy, and the best friend I ever had. I always, always, always felt uplifted after being with him, even in the hospital, as tired as I was on some days after sixteen or more hours with him.
He was always so appreciative and kind. He called me his angel once, and then asked (seriously) if I was truly an angel. (We’d been watching TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL for a few weeks, so I’m quite sure that’s where that idea originated!) I will never, ever forget that. In fact, I ordered a tall copper stein that reads, “I never knew how much love my heart could hold ’til someone called me his angel.” I soooo wanted to lie to him at that moment and say yes, I am a real angel! but I just couldn’t.
Instead, I said, “No, I’m not. But there’s a quote that I keep on my desk that I love. It goes something like this: ‘There is one trouble with full-time angels; they are completely unpredictable and you cannot just send out for one. That is why part-time angels are so important. Part-time angels are you and me.'” (He had been my part-time angel for years. I felt blessed to be able to return the favor.) He loved that and had me repeat it.
DeForest Kelley knew how to be a Valentine — a true gift of love, light, and sweetness in just the right amounts to allow you to continue to grow and evolve without feeling tied to his expectations for you. You knew he would always have your back, no matter how you turned out. He was the Universe’s message made flesh: You are unconditionally loved.
MEET DE TODAY, IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY
If you never met DeForest Kelley up close and personal, here’s your chance. If you did meet De, my books will resonate, too. It’s always good to revisit old friends, especially ones this magnificent.
DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal: a Harvest of Memories from the Fan Who Knew Him Best
Audiobook version available ONLY at YellowBalloonPublications.com (This version has actual audio voicemails from the Kelleys and a few other celebrities)
Kindle Edition (Full color inside) https://amzn.to/2PWE1ck
DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal (B&W) https://amzn.to/2wzflii
DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal (Color): https://amzn.to/2MHVwiL
Kelley Phone Tag Volume One
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2wdIaAd
Kindle: https://amzn.to/2HtlHFv
Kelley Phone Tag Volume Two
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2EoVcza
Kindle: https://amzn.to/30J4z6y
Kelley Phone Tag Volume Three
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2wfuJ2s
Kindle: https://amzn.to/2Htq83o
Kelley Phone Tag Volume Four
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2L7dacc
Kindle: https://amzn.to/2KT5OKh
Kelley Phone Tag Volume Five
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2o6mdm3
Kindle: https://amzn.to/2P5xcr2
Kelley Phone Tag Volume Six
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2PfEt7A
Kindle: https://amzn.to/2J97fTI
Enduring Legacy of DeForest Kelley: Actor, Healer, Friend
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2VQGyvk
Kindle: https://amzn.to/30Asd4X
UPDATE FEBRUARY 12TH: Here’s the link to today’s EVER NEW podcast, which is mostly about De: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1295934358
