I recently set this image as the desktop background for my PC. My friend Nancy Graf took it while Deaken and I were living in Encino, CA. (1991 to 1995; Deaken passed away at age seventeen and four months in 1996 in North Hollywood not long after I bought a condo there). Nancy sent it to me a while ago and I cherish it. I didn’t know it was being taken, so it’s as candid a shot as you’ll ever see of me, probably.
I probably should not have made it my background, because I get lost in it so often…
The other images of Deaken kissing me were taken while I was aware of the photographer – who just happened to be me in the immediate image below; I set the timer on my camera, put the camera on the ground, jumped over the top of him and plopped down beside him, at which time he kissed me, so I got this perfectly timed, lucky- as-heck image as a result:
Encino, 1991 or 1992
And here are additional special moments but, in every case, I knew the pictures were being taken.
In Encino CA 1991 or 1992 Photo by Christine Link
Photo by Dorothea Hope Smith (DHS)
Clockwise starting with photo on top left: Photos by DHS, me (of Deaken in marigolds), DHS, and Kathy Drayer
taken in Eatonville 1979 to 1981
At Shambala 1990
Most of the time, there isn’t the inclination to reflect a whole lot on the past because I’m so busy living in the NOW, but whenever I see particular images of Deaken and me, or DeForest and/or Carolyn Kelley and me, or other critters or other people and me, there is a sort of flashback that places me at the earlier times and places, and I feel again what I was feeling then. And it’s very comforting 99.999% of the time, because who’s in the regular habit of capturing bad times on film, right? Just the news media!
But when confronted with images that remind me of past loves, including still-living friends with whom I’ve lost touch for various reasons, I feel the ache of losing them again. That will probably never go away. But there are smiles, too, lots and lots of smiles as I remember WHY I miss them so much, even though they’re tucked in my heart (and hopefully my memory banks) forever.
I’ve written entire books on Deaken and the Kelley’s, so I don’t need to recount them here. Most of you who follow this blog have likely read them, so you can feel what I’m feeling when I look at the images again…
Above photos by Bill Dow
Photo by Carolyn Kelley
Photo by Sue Keenan
Photo by Melody Cox (?)
Photo by Sue Keenan
Photo by Sue Keenan
Good times.
No, GREAT TIMES.
There have been many good times since then, too, but these ones stand out because they lasted so long and because so little of what I remember of these relationships are negative. I felt unconditionally loved and totally trusted by these beings (animal and human). That’s almost as rare as hens’ teeth, so I cherish these memories fully and shamelessly.
These beings made me a better person. They helped grow me and expand my ability to trust and give wholeheartedly.
They were earth angels — and now they’re spirit guides. I feel them around me very strongly at times. Their love still washes over me when I least expect it, surprising me.
