If you’re missing the loving, sassy, fun vibe that DeForest Kelley offered to the world, as I frequently do, I have some suggestions for where to find his type today.
I’ve found several specific spots where I encounter DeForest Kelley types
Star Trek conventions
I haven’t been to a Star Trek convention since 2006 unless you include the Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, where Lisa and I met Karl Urban (who was a sweetie squared) five years ago, so I can’t comment on today’s corporate-owned and run conventions. But I will say that back in the day, when I was doing conventions (and ONLY conventions that De appeared at — which was a small percentage of conventions overall), the people who turned out to see and hear him were, almost without exception, absolutely DElightul people. They were fun, funny, and personable (some were more shy and reserved, but their vibe was loving and compassionate).
I was able to overcome my “fear” of noticing (looking at and genuinely acknowledging) people in wheelchairs, on crutches, and with other physical challenges early on because one of the convention-goers was wheelchair bound and said, “I didn’t know whether to enter the costume contest as a Horta or Captain Pike so I could incorporate my wheels!” I laughed sooo heartily and then realized at that very moment that I had always avoided making eye contact with people in wheelchairs and with physical challenges because I didn’t want them to think I was staring at them! It occurred to me then, “What must it be like to have people avoid looking at you all the time? How invisible would that make me feel?” I resolved, there and then, to look at strangers in wheelchairs in the same way I look at ambulatory ones, to smile, nod and say hello when it’s appropriate, to strike up a conversation whenever that’s appropriate. In a single sound bite, a single Star Trek convention rocked my world. I was set free to be more like De!
PRIDE Festivals
People at PRIDE festivals are loving, compassionate, fun, funny, sassy, and often hug-gy. I think we all realize that nobody ever gets enough hugs, so we do it almost automatically. The smiles are genuine and the conversations are deeply personal and touching. Whether you say two sentences or twenty or a hundred to a given individual, it is a profound one-to-one spiritual event. It’s like coming home to a family who sees, appreciates, and loves you without limit.
De had a lot of gay friends: I met several of them and they all wished he had swung both ways, but they respected his marriage and commitment to Carolyn just as he respected their commitments to the loves of their lives. De loved lovable people, and he even (in my opinion) loved unlikeable people.
He understood that everyone is facing some kind of battle that very few people, if any, know anything about, so he remained universally kind to all, “even though I had to straighten Shatner’s ass out a time or two.” De was always upset to see the bad-mouthing that Shatner received from cast mates, crew, and even me, who had experienced less-than-lovable interactions with him. De always focused on what was GOOD about the people he was with. I never heard him critique or criticize anybody other than to express sadness for the ways in which they viewed the people in their orbits as being hostile or less worthy of love, attention, compassion, and consideration.
Bernie Sanders Rallies
Bernie Sanders, curmudgeon that he is (since he hammers home the same talking points nearly every time he speaks, since the inequites in our system have not yet been addressed and corrected), attracts DeForest Kelley types in droves. Bernie’s people are passionate about creating a level playing field for everyone in the United States. You’ll find De Kelley types in abundacnce wherever Bernie appears!
Above two photos courtesy of Lisa Twining. All rights reserved.
Two former carpenters and fellow democratic socialists working in concert for “the least of these”!
Affirming/welcoming faith-based religious organizations
There are scores of loving, compassionate, truly empathetic people in a great many churches. Some denominations have become safe havens and welcoming/affirming places for LGBTQIA+ folks.
Among the online DE-like pastors I resonate with is John Pavlovitz. But even he, bless his heart, is crustier than De’s Dr. McCoy.
Some of what he writes stings less-welcoming/affirming Christians. I find no fault in that: I’m very much the same way. The only thing I’m intolerant of is intolerance, and I think both Pavlovitz and I are colleagues with DeForest Kelley in that regard. De just didn’t pontificate; instead, he walked the walk.
I sometimes have more trouble walking the walk than talking the talk. In fact, just this morning as I slept, I had an increasing terse “conversation” with yesterday’s Christian protesters who were at the PRIDE Festival. I can become very John Pavlovitz zealous when I get the chance!
Fortunately, I usually only do so (as does Pavlovitz) in literary form. As a middle child, I’m a peacekeeper. I hate confrontations, even when they are necessary to establish or maintain a level playing field. I’m a great sign wielder myself. (“Writing is show business for shy people.”)
If you don’t belong to an affirming faith-based group and you are religious, I encourage you to church hop until you find one. I think you’ll notice the more compassionate, loving (DeForest Kelley-like) vibe immediately. That’s because a lot of DeForest Kelley types will be sitting in the seats around you. (De’s father, a Baptist preacher, wanted him to become a pastor, too. And although De took another path, he did indeed have a ministry: IT WAS US, his fans, friends, castmates and everyone else he spent time with.)
Local/Regional Live Stage Play Theaters
Local and regional show business people are usually salt-of-the-earth. They’ve get their humble butts handed to them when they begin to view themselves as anything other than ensemble actors whose boats rise and fall based on their combined energy and efforts. There aren’t a lot of prima donnas in local/regional theater. They are usually quite DeForest Kelley-like: just happy to be a part of the magic!
On EVER NEW
Naturally, I have to mention EVER NEW, Hannah’s and my podcast which includes at least one DeForest Kelley segment every single time. De’s fans gravitate here most likely because it impossible (as far as I know) to find another dedicated De podcast anywhere else.
The upcoming episode of June 17th promises to be a De Day Extravaganza, because we will be welcoming SEVEN special guests whose lives and careers have been enhanced as a result of De’s influence in some way. The show will air LIVE at 10:30 a.m.Pacific Time at this link:
https://www.twitch.tv/NDBMedia
Here are our seven special guests in alphabetical order:
Michelle Campbell (recently-minted Emergency Medical Technician among whose inspirations for her chosen field was Dr. McCoy)
Dan Madsen (Star Trek, Star Wars, Mark Twain, and more)
Larry Nemecek (Trekland Host, So. Cal. entertainment industry shooting location guide, and newly-named Will Rogers Ranch Foundation President)
Michael and Denise Okuda (Star Trek — and more — starship and other graphics creators, Sotheby Star Trek auction item chroniclers, and more)
Amy Ulen (Star Trek reporter/actor, Shakespeare expert and actor, and Board Member of NichelleNichols.Foundation)
Thorsten Walch (German Translator of Kris M. Smith’s 2016 edition of DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal, A Harvest of Memories from the Fan Who Knew Him Best)
On future EVER NEW episodes, we will welcome T Rick Jones (Daily Star Trek News contributor), Phil Weyland (De’s double in the Star Trek movies and his director in the live stage play BEGINNER’S LUCK at the Hayloft Theater in Lubbock Texas in 1974), Cami Wallin (author of the history of the wildlife park Northwest Trek and diehard Star Trek fan), and more TBA.
SUGGESTED (AND HIGHLY ENCOURAGED!) “HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT if you plan to tune in: Before June 17th (or the morning of, before our De Day Remembrance Extravaganza podcast begins AT 10:30 Pacific Time), please watch (or re-watch) “DeForest Kelley: A Farewell” on YouTube, the 12-minute video that was produced for De’s memorial service at Paramount in 1999. It will set the tone for De Day.
On DeForest Kelley Facebook pages
I haven’t visited every DeForest Kelley (sometimes misspelled “Kelly”) Facebook page in existence, but the ones I do visit include The DeForest Kelley Legacy and DeForest Kelley Westerns. I am a moderator on both of those. Kelley followers are, with rare exception, DeForest Kelley types. They are his Tribe. They carry his ethos about them. It’s lovely to witness.
Wherever the heart is free to express itself fully
The above list isn’t exclusive. Whenever people free their hearts to love fully and faithfully, retaining kindness and compassion as their core spirit, those are DE-hearted people. His was easily among the most patient, protective, and compassionate souls I have ever met. As I said at his memorial service in June 1999, “DeForest Kelley was the kind of man God had in mind when he created Adam. If there were more Deforest Kelley types in this sad old world, it would be the paradise we all wish it was.”
PLEASE JOIN ME IN THIS HEARTFELT PLEDGE, IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED:
DeForest Kelley, we miss you and we pledege to continue to do our best to emulate your vibe to this hurting world.
We need more DeForest Kelley types in this contentious world if we’re going to survive.
