Today’s Mental Meanderings
It’s Thursday morning and I’ve walked and talked with four neighbors already while putting in 7,467 steps. And it’s only 9 a.m.! That’s pretty amazing…
When I started out this morning, I took about five laps from my driveway to Calle Los Angeles before spotting Diane, who was standing in front of her home, and Luz and Noelia, who were on the calle a little farther ahead of me by about ten paces and heading in the direction I was planning to take next.
I said hello and good morning to Diane, who told me she had decided to walk one lap with me this morning. That made my day. She’s a fun person to talk to. So we headed out, by now about 20 paces behind Luz and Noelia. They heard us walking and talking behind them, so they stopped while we caught up. We hugged all around. I took Noelia’s hand and we started walking again.
During the walk Diane told Luz’s family about her harrowing week, which I was only able to catch bits and pieces of because I’m not fluent yet. I heard “pages” (paginas) and number of pages and other details about writing, but couldn’t understand a lot about what was being expressed, so I just plodded along enjoying the sights and sunshine with Noelia, who was smiling and looking very pleased.
TRACTOR TRACKS
No far up the road, a bush-cutting tractor had gone up into the forest and pulled down a lot of the reed-like foliage that was there at a place where water usually comes down when it’s raining hard. Luz decided to hike up the downed trail to find out or explore what was being done there, so she indicated that Diane and I could take Noelia along with us the rest of the way up Calle Estaban Salas and back while she did that.
So we did that. Diane explained to me what she had been explaining to them in Spanish. She’s in charge of writing a quarterly newsletter and was having a hard time convincing her collaborator to turn it into a monthly newsletter for very good reasons. That way it would be easier to digest, easier to write, easier to keep readers in the loop, and in all other ways just plain easier.
On the way back, Diane asked me how long I had been walking hand in hand with Noelia. I said, “Oh, almost since I moved here. As soon as I found out she was amenable and actually enjoyed it, I started doing it.” Diane mentioned what a beautiful mile she has when she’s happy and smiling. I agreed and asked her if she knew how old Noelia is. She said, “Around 40.” That explained to me why she didn’t go to school, for sure! She has long since graduated from the wonderful schools that Costa Rica has for people with mental and physical challenges. (Noelia has Down Syndrome.) Diane says she has never heard her speak, and she has been their next door neighbor for almost 20 years and knows them well, so that confirmed my suspicion that she’s mute except for delighted, brief non-verbal vocalizations at times. Noelia is a sweet, sweet spirit, as is the rest of her family.
When we got back to Diane’s place, she bid us adieu. Luz, Noelia and I continued up the road to Calle Los Angeles and back. Luz played Spanish language Navidad songs. They were are lively and spirit-lifting.
When we got back to their place, we said our goodbyes and then I took three more laps up to Calle LA to complete my 7,000-step walking routine before returning to my casita.
FAVORITE PICTURE
Then I took the above picture of myself. It turned out to be among the best I’ve ever had taken, so I made it my profile picture on Facebook… at least for a while.
I appear to be getting younger, to my eye, living down here! Or maybe just happier, de-stressed, better hydrated and moisturized in the humid atmosphere, or more at peace. Or all of it! Whichever it is, I’m liking it!
On Another Note: Rediscovering A THOUSAND CLOWNS
While I was reading about the sad passing of Rob and Michelle Reiner at the hands of their son, I ran across an interview Rob did some years ago when he was asked why he chose the themes and perspectives he did for his movies. in response, he mentioned working in a movie theater as a kid and seeing A THOUSAND CLOWNS and how that motion picture inspired him to make movies about important themes and to make sure they included similar pathos and humor.
So, I went to YouTube and watched A THOUSAND CLOWNS again. And what I discovered for the first time (although I have seen the movie several times and it has always been a favorite) is that every single character in it except for Martin Balsam’s character Arnold and perhaps Nick (Jason Robard’s/Murray’s young nephew) were neurodivergent in one way or another.
No wonder I resonated with it every time I saw it. These were “my people” in various guises, from the lovable, inspirational and “unemployed” Murray to the nearly intolerable Leo “Chuckles the Chipmunk” Herman, played by Gene Saks) and Willam Daniels’ anal-retentive Albert Amundsen!
I have known people like all of these folks (I am some of these folks!) , and they have all been neurodivergent, which has made them sooooo freaking fascinating to me!
Like Murray, regular 9 to 5 jobs have always been death-dealing (spirit-wise) to me
The only so-called regular 9 to 5 job I ever had and truly enjoyed was being a Warner Bros. executive secretary, because the campus was crammed with neurodiverse, creative people doing their thing for a living: acting, writing, producing, directing, painting scenery, working in post production, in IT, etc.
The least likeable ones were the Leo Hermans in the business, so bereft of self-respect that they’d sell their soul for a laugh to feed their insatiable egos. These were the desperate ones. There weren’t a lot of them, but they were there.
I think the reason Murray found Leo so insufferable is because Leo was a kindred spirit — a mirrored darker self — but he lacked self-respect and perspective. Murray wouldn’t even allow a halfway decent job offer to entice him away from his essecnce, which consisted of a free-spirited man who just wanted to have fun and truly feel alive while he was in the world.
The common working world would have destroyed him. He had been there and done that already, trying to fit in. People like Murray don’t fit in. They stand out. Neurotypical people either worry about the Murrays of the world, envy them, or judge and condemn them. Very few commend them. I do. I commend them for not caving to capitalism’s incessant demand that they produce something consumable so they can be exploited.
ARNOLD
Martin Balsam’s Arnold once listened to his neurodivergent tendences, but he decided he couldn’t live on the knife’s edge between poverty and security and the judgment of other people. He made “normalcy” work for him. He had a wife and children, a stable career, a reliable roof over his head. He wanted to judge Murray, but he understood him, so mostly he worried about him. He knew Murray was on the verge of losing custody of his nephew and he wanted Murray to shape up and fly right so that wouldn’t happen. Best of intentions!
William Daniel’s Arnold Amundsen is Neurodiverse
Arnold Amundsen, too, is neurodivergent. Murray mentions at one point that Arnold sounds like he pre-writes and rehearses every sentence before he says it, and Amundsen admits that yes, he does. He has been conditioned to consider and weigh what others might think of him if he comes right out and says what’s on his mind without pre-judging and preempting the words that won’t land the way they “need to”. He’s self-critical because neurotypical people told him very early in life that his thoughts weren’t acceptable, so he has learned to “fit in” as best he can. But he can’t, no matter how hard he tries. He looks and sounds scripted. Either way, the soul is in agony. So, he takes on a career that allows his agony to be real. He takes kids away from their caregivers based on reports. What the caregiver has to say is irrelevant to him. He’s a “by the book” guy like Javert in Les Miserables, or Kristy Noem in real life.
Barbara Harris’s Dr. Sandra Markowitz is neurodiverse
But unlike her supervisor or coworker, her heart lives on her sleeve. She’s willing to set aside what the reports appear to reveal long enough to hear what Murray and Nick have to say. This drives Amundsen crazy. He calls her a rookie, says it’s too soon for her to be in the field because she doesn’t have sufficient “perspective” on her career to make sound judgments about the disposition of children.
She holds her ground, Amundson leaves in a huff, and she falls in love with the adventurous, quixotic figure that remains in the room with her while she cries uncontrollably and spills her guts. He’s there for her and with her. For possibly the first time in her life, someone is hearing her torment… and being okay with her having her own feelings, doubts and concerns.
Is Nick Neurodiverse?
Is Murray’s 12 year old nephew neurodiverse? I can’t decide. On the one hand, he’s amenable to following Murray on his many madcap adventures, no matter how uncommon, but he appears to be the adult in the relationship. His feet are on the ground. He’s well aware of the pickle they are in, and he knows that if Murray continues to dodge the inevitable without making some changes, the inevitable will happen: Murray will lose custody of the boy, who he has raised and loved fiercely for six years.
Murray is concerned that life will “ruin” Nick, make him into a conformist, into another Arnold. Someone who does what’s right at the cost of his intrinsic spirit.
The movie ends unsatisfactorily to me. It’s an amorphous ending.
We have to assume Murray “did the right thing.” But if so, what was the right thing? The romantic in me says he married the woman, took the shitty job and kept the nephew for as much longer as was required to get him safely to adulthood and out on his own. (“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.”)
But at what cost to Murray’s spirit? I mean, his home was re-envisoned and redecorated by the woman without consulting him. She just took over. Was what she did an improvement? Was Murray okay with being shut out of the decision-making? He just watched while she and Nick threw his stuff into the trash… featureless. No apparent reaction.
I sure would have had something to say about that, if I was in his position!
Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that I saw A THOUSAND CLOWNS in a completely different light than ever before when I watched it this time. It seemed to be a character study of neurodiversity and what each type brings to the smorgasbord of human existence and adventure.
It seems to be the neurodivergents on the planet who are the most intriguing, either because we love what we see or feel when we’re with them or we loathe it, or we judge it in some way. When all it is is different ways of being in and seeing the world from our own unique perspectives.
Variety is the spice of life!
Come to think of it…
Most of my favorite fictional characters have been neurodivergent in some way
Peter Pan. Cartoon characters. Tom Sawyer. Huckleberry Finn. Jo in LITTLE WOMEN. The list goes on and on.
I think that’s why character actors are so fascinating to me. They’re neurodivergent! They are must watch individuals, not just “stand in” regulars. They stick out like a sore thumb.
Most of my favorite celebrities are neurodivergent in some way
Henry Winkler. Anthony Hopkins.
And many more who may or may not be my favorites!
Most of my closet friends are neurodivergent in some way
I won’t list them for privacy concerns. You know who you are, you wonderful humans beings, you!
A great many famous non-celebrity people have been neurodivergent
Albert Einsten. Leonardo da Vinci. Isaac Newton. Emily Dickinson. Jane Austen. Nikola Tesla. Steve Jobs. Hans Christian Anderson. Lewis Carroll. Thomas Jefferson. Carl Sagan. Mozart. Many, many others.
I suspect that it has been neurodivergent people who first thought of new ways to move through the world as cave dwellers, hunters and gatherers, and onward! They use a different part of their brains so their sensibilities and insights differ, which makes them feel out of place in neurotypically-designed spaces: office buildings, cubicles, etc.
Vive la difference!