The guilt/reciprocity trigger is one of the most powerful motivational tools available to salespeople. Any time someone goes out of his or her way, even a tad beyond what’s expected during a visit or conversation, the person who receives the “gift” feels obligated to reciprocate in some way. (“Much obliged” says it all.) If he or she doesn’t, a sense of guilt sets in–unless you’re dealing with a sociopath (and it’s been estimated that as many as one in twenty individuals is a sociopath, so you do cross paths with them more often than you know, so beware!).
Offering a piece of candy during a conversation, a thank you note after a call or visit, sharing a recipe or pertinent article–almost any small act of thoughtfulness creates a sense of obligation, whether you expect it to or not. (As soon as I learned this trigger, I began to feel a little guilty for knowing it because, up to that time, I’d been giving without a single thought to the sense of ‘obligation’ that it might cause the recipient to feel!)
As mentioned in an earlier blog, many charities and non-profits send personalized return address stickers, note cards and calendars to donors and prospective donors knowing full well that their small token of appreciation/gift will spur additional donations.
It’s human nature to want to bless someone who has blessed you.
Remember this. If you’re a natural giver you’ve already gained from this trigger, whether you knew about it or not. You’ve innocently prompted another to want to reciprocate in some way.
If you’re just learning this trigger, be kind. Don’t abuse the knowledge you now have. Remember: if you abuse it, karma/the universe will make sure you receive in equal measure what you do to others.
If you can give small blessings joyfully as a service provider without any thought of reciprocation, you’ll be rewarded. But give something as a bribe or to curry special favor, and you’re abusing this trigger.
Givers gain.
Takers tank. Eventually.
Use this trigger–and all the others–responsibly or I’ll be upset that I shared them with you.
