Yesterday at Costco I bought a pair of size 38 men’s jeans, thinking I could probably squeeze into them now.

When I got home and put them on, I realized they were too big, and this morning when I went outside to gather the fallen Italian prunes beneath our tree, they fell off over my hips while I was bending over getting the fruit!  That’s when I decided they were definitely too big!

So, I took them off and drove back to Costco just as it was opening this morning to exchange them for size 36.  These fit perfect. Not at all tight. Just right. So, I got two pairs in two different colors, blue and olive. I’m all set!

I don’t think I’d fit into Wrangler’s or Lee’s size 36s yet. Those are tough denim.  These (Archer, aka Buffalo) are soft denim. They’re ample around my body and just right around my waist.  I’m still shape-shifting post panniculectomy surgery, but I don’t anticipate getting a lot smaller around than I am right now. But then I didn’t anticipate getting to size 36 this fast (or at all!), either, so who knows?

 

I think De wore a size 34 jeans until he fell desperately ill. Of course, he was almost six feet tall and I’m 5’6.25 inches.  (I used to be 5’7″.)

 

I’m still chunky, but no longer in the obese category — or very close to being out of it. I think I need to lose another six to eight pounds to officially reach the “overweight” category.  But that line is indistinct. It all depends on one’s bone structure, and I’m large boned. My little sister, by contrast, although she’s taller, has bird bones.  I can easily put my fingers around her wrist with room to spare. Not on my wrist! My thumb and middle finger barely touch when I do it to myself.

 

Some of the excess weight came off when I had chest masculinization surgery a year ago (about three pounds. Talk about “taking  a load off my chest”! HA!). And I lost at least another eight to ten pounds (they didn’t weigh my excess skin and underlying tissue, so I’m guessing here), possibly more, with the panniculectomy surgery.

 

Of course, for months after the last surgery, I was bloated with excess fluids while my body healed, so I didn’t appear to have lost much weight for the longest time. But my doctor assured me that would change as my body got its equilibrium back, and that seems to be what’s happening now.

 

It’s a delightful difference.  I’m really loving looking at myself in the mirror now, not in a narcissistic way, but just in a kind of “marveling” way.  “Wow! What a difference!”  I’m no model, but I’m a lot happier with the way I look now, in clothes and out of them.  Sometimes I wander around my home and back yard shirtless. I try to catch the sun at least 20 minutes every day shirtless in the back yard, too. I want to raise my Vitamin D level the natural way.

 

The image of me on the bike trail above was taken prior to my panniculectomy surgery. You can see some of the roll that was around my belly at the bottom of the image.  That roll is still slightly there, but the pannus below it is completely gone and flat, and I’m massaging the knots out of the underlying tissue where the sutures tied everything up post surgery, so they’re slowly becoming less knotty and more normal. That will take months.  My chest masculinization surgery required the same kind of patient care and massaging of the scar tissue beneath the incision points for them to finally flatten out and disappear (to my fingertips).

 

 

Before panniculectomy surgery and after chest masculinization surgery, taken late last year.

That’s my surgeon, Dr. Goldsberry-Long, next to me.

 

 

Taken a few weeks after surgery, while still bloated and wearing tubes to remove excess healing fluids.

 

And I took this one just now.

Wearing the same clothes to show the stark difference!

 

Can you see how stretched-to-the max the short-sleeve argyle sweater looks in the first image around my middle (and the pannus hanging below the shirt line), versus how they look in the last one? No pannus (hanging apron of skin) below and no stretching of the argyle pattern, either!

 

I feel reborn, and it’s only going to get better as my body shape-shifts over time to lose all the after-surgery “trauma” (surgical knots and knobs). It will take months to attain my final shape.

 

I’m super happy!