It’s 9:20 a.m. Saturday. My 7500-step rambling is behind me, so now I’ll ramble here with y’all for a little while!

 

I found the missing (and sorely missed) last gel pen in my laptop bag recently, so I’ve been writing with it on lined paper almost as much as I have been writing in this blog post the past few days.  I’m going to go through those pages now and see if there’s anything I can put in here that’s worth your time.

 

Some of it might be repeats, because I won’t remember every last thing I’ve posted before!

 

Sanchez Lab

 

On Dec. 3rd I wrote about wanting to get several routine tests done at Sanchez Lab to see what my baselines are now that I’ve transitioned to Costa Rican nutrition, daily exercise, and higher altiude living.  There is zero distress for me here and my skin and innards have all responded beautifully to those changes.

 

The comments from numerous friends in the States who have seen my most recent photos indicate that I’m looking better and happier than I ever did up there; this translates to “my body is doing much better here” so I want to see how that translates as far as baseline wellness tests like kidney function, blood sugar levels (which have always been fine before — no prediabetes or anything like that), and urinalysis.  I also want to get my INR level checked again since it was high last time. Not dangerously so — 3.9 — but enough that I lowered the doses for the past three weeks to bring it down to where it belongs — 2.0 to 3.0.

 

On that note, I will be going to Sanchez Labs for those tests on December 31st.  (And get this:  all of them combined will costs a total of less than $85 USD!!!  So I will know the results (or at least the INR results) that day and can do what I need to do to make any changes that might be needed there.  I’m glad I’ll have the results that soon via WhatsApp. I can shoot them over to Jon if anything looks wocka wocka, or I don’t understand a result.  He’s a retired nurse and really knows his stuff!

 

SLOTH-SLOW-PACKING

 

I also noted on Dec 3rd that I had begun putting miscellaneous things into boxes that I won’t be using before the move: extra sunscreen, insect repellent (I have enough of both to last me a year or more!), batteries, clothes, shoes, brown sugar, etc. etc etc.

 

As noted previously in this blog (I think!), Charli notices when the routine starts changing prior to a move, so I’m making minuscule changes every day in a sorta sloth-like way, so she doesn’t catch wind of the fact that we’re going to be moving again until the last few hours or so (if even then, if I play it exactly right!). I hate giving her even a moment of discontent!  She had a very anxious start in life, so I do my best to keep things on an even keel every moment of every day.  She is my heart and when hers beats rapidly, mine wants to, too — but I have to remain calm and soothing and keep reminding her (during a move) that I’m right with her and everything is all right…

 

Marianela’s Vehicle Will Be Enough

 

I also mentioned that Marianela’s vehicle should be sufficient to get me moved in one trip. Jon offered to help but he’s a busy guy, so I’m glad he won’t need to do anything “extra” for me so close to Lisa’s arrival, because we’re gonna be taking enough of his time while she’s here driving us around to see animal-y places and perhaps a few other wonders.

 

Jon offered to drive us around during the time Lisa will be here

 

I let him know he had first dibs on us and that I could and would hire another driver and guide if he didn’t want to do it.  He said yes, he did want to do it, up to three days (Feb 12, 17-18).

 

I’m soooo happy about that. I’d much rather pay a friend than a stranger to take us around. It will make it a lot more fun and relaxing. And maybe Francisco will come along, too, if he’s available and amenable.  There’s enough room in Jon’s vehicle, for sure.

 

On Christmas Eve I Was a Journaling Fool

 

I have almost ten pages of writing that was jotted down on Christmas Eve. I was still feeling a little under the weather from my Potato Chip Overindulgence Fiasco, so I was laying low except for the morning walk.  I wrote at one point, “I’ve eaten very little junk food since coming here, so when I do, it hits me very hard. My body is no longer used to it; it wants nutrition, not preservatives, artificial colors, excess salt, etc.”

 

The I wrote:  “It’s another glorious day. Could life get any BETTER than this? I don’t know how. Nature. Sunshine. Silence. Serenity. Clean air. Lovely neighbors. I only wish Lisa could be enjoying it year-’round, too. I do miss seeing her, even as infrequently as I did because she is so busy working 60 to 80 hours per week.

 

“Lisa and I are not clones, but we’re both REAL and so many of our interests match. She feels 100% SAFE to me, and vice versa. Like I’m fully seen, known and understood, warts and all. No coy disguises. No posing or pretense. We’re both complete individuals so there’s no co-dependency BS to keep us “locked in together no matter how lousy it can get.”

 

“I WANT her in my life. I don’t NEED her (desperation-level-wise) in it or I never could have left the States. (But our friendship was definitely the hardest relationship to separate from.)

 

“Our relationship is kinda “cat-like,” if you will

 

“I could limp along painfully without cats (sadly, regretfully; just the idea of doing so hurts my stomach and heart!) but you’d have a helluva fight on your hands if you tried to make me give ’em up!  I was meant for cats and cats were meant for me.  That’s how I feel about Lisa. We just freakin’ belong in each other’s lives and we always will!

 

“I love experiencing her friendship and think she’d just be happier here, taking life easier for less money.

 

She’s missing out and she deserves better. She is Good People!

 

“But until she can retire with enough Social Security income to be able to afford to move to a more affordable country, it is was it is. And for her, it might not end up being Costa Rica. She has other options, too, some of them even more affordable. Her life and future are hers to choose and she has been to many different countries and cultures. Wherever she chooses, it better treat her right. She has earned and deserves it!”

 

ON CHRISTMAS DAY I WROTE TEN PAGES TOO

 

On Christmas Day I sent greetings to everyone whose contact info I have right now: Faceboook friends, What’sApp friends — and responded to whatever they sent back to me. That took a while.

 

I confirmed that Crystal had been able to pick up a 2026 calendar for me during one of her outings in Maine, so that gave me a smile. (As mentioned earlier, I keep my INR dosing schedule on a calendar.) Jon had told me that she had a helluva time with the TSA upon arrival in Florida so I commiserated about that with her and said I hoped they had noted everything then so that her return would be less dramatic and traumatic. It hurt my heart and made me cry to learn about the indignity she suffered as a transwoman, thanks to T-Wrecks’ and his regime’s unholy policies.

 

I wrote, “Being trans is definitely NOT a choice. It would take the ability to do BRAIN TRANSPLANTS to make it a choice. And I don’t think many of us would be willing to have a brain transplant even if it became possible to do them. I LOVE my brain. I even love my BODY. I just don’t recognize my existing genitals as being native to it. They should not be this way. My mind is wired to SIRE! That’s all there is to it!

 

“I’m still not sure I wasn’t born intersex and altered to the easiest binary to simulate back then. If not, I’m well and truly trans. My brain knows its true gender. I’m just along for the ride… in the wrong model of vehicle!”

 

That’s probably all that’s worth moving into a blog post from the past.

 

FUTURE VISITORS

 

Nina Alicia Martinez wants to visit in 2026 sometime. 

 

And Samoel Black and his best friend and flatmate will be visiting as soon as they manage to save enough money to get here and back, now that I’m not longer in the U.S. (which they refuse to visit for obvious reasons).

 

I know Edward Smith wants to fly in, too.

 

And Sirkka Smith would love to, too.

 

There are others, of course. Haven’t heard about their plans, yet, but I expect to once I get settled into the new place and can confirm I will be there for a good long time!

 

MEXICAN TRAIN!

 

I’m super excited that Lisa is getting me a Mexican Train game set for Christmas and bringing it down to me when she comes in February. I will love playing it with friends. I have missed playing it, even as few times as I played it in the States. It’s kinda addictive!

 

 

MY EXO McCOY ACTION FIGURE!

 

I’m also super excited that I’ll have my EXO Dr. McCoy action figure back in my possession in February.

It’s a real gem!

 

Found another page I want to put here

 

“People from the States say they’ve never seen me looking happier than I do right now. The ‘happy’ look showcases what zero distress, zero financial woes and a caring culture does to a person’s psyche.

 

“This society is so kind, considerate and laid back. It’s day and night different from the States.

 

“Happiness is being able to breathe normally, live mindfully, smell the roses and the coffee, give and receive platonic affection, and receive eager help (not half-hearted or absent-hearted, heavy sigh help) when needed. It’s so damned refreshing and rejuvenating!

 

“Again, there’s just no comparison. It isn’t just the difference between day and night; it’s the difference between verdant earth and sterile moon.

 

“So, although the U.S. (like the moon) can appear big and bright, I don’t know anyone who would jump at the chance to live there — at least, certainly not presently. It’s becoming less hospitable by the day. And it won’t recover as soon as the present regime is deposed; what they’ve done to dismantle the government “of, by and for” the people could take a generation just to restore, let alone improve upon!

 

LGBTQIA+ FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES

 

It’s amazing how many transgender friends and Facebook acquaintances I have made since coming out about eight or nine years ago. I lost count after about 20!  Once you make it known, you find your tribe, or it finds you.

 

The LGBTQIA+ community is large, diverse, and devoted to activism. I’m passionate about normalizing our existence. There’s nothing to fear from us and much to gain: a sense of safety and sacred inclusion in the family of humankind. A great many of us are neurodiverse, too.

 

One “Superpower” of Being Neurodiverse

 

More from my handwritten pages:

 

“One superpower of being neurodiverse is that a great many of us can easily discern the difference between real and role-playing/ritual/manipulative people. It’s also why a lot of neurotypical individuals view us as risky threats: we are excellent BS detectors. We don’t buy what they’re selling because we recognize the illusion, the disingenuity, the subterfuge that the predators in the crowd can foist off on neurotypical people.

 

“Real people — honest, vulnerable people — don’t need to pretend. We don’t feel the need to lie, mislead or misrepresent who we are. We’re in search of our tribe: other honest, vulnerable REAL people who may or may not need help being looked out for and protected against the predators.

 

“Real people are incredibly brave!

 

“This is a relatively new revelation to me… that real people are brave. They’re willing to risk presenting themselves, warts and all. To say, “This is who I am.”

 

“It’s a relatively new revelation to me simply because I’ve never considered myself particularly brave — just determined to captain my own ship and adventures. I’m single-minded in pursuit of my goals; the overarching one is to look for ways to be happy, serene, appreciative, compassionate and benevolent in small ways and large.

 

“But others have consistently called me brave because I go after what I want, hammer and tong. I don’t just daydream about it.

 

“So then I really thought about it. Thought about the times I pulled up stakes to go to Sacramento, Hollywood, Costa Rica!  The time I got a serval kitten knowing it would mean up to 20 years of giving up a lot of other things to maintain him happily and properly. The times I came out as lesbian and then trans; the times I got elective surgeries to masculinize my chest and get rid of my hanging pannus; the times I put my heart on my sleeve and wrote entire books.

 

“No marriages. No kids.

 

“I didn’t pursue anything I didn’t want even when society told me I absolutely should have them, which freed me up to go after what I did want with every fiber of my being.  I even told the truth when it wasn’t convenient or helpful. (And every time I didn’t do that, I suffered the consequences: living by someone else’s wants and desires, which always frustrated and saddened me.)

 

“I nearly always took the road less traveled.  Trusted my instincts and danger detectors. Kept the lights on inside. Honored and nurtured the curious, inquisitive, unafraid child inside.

 

“Nearly all of that (in retrospect) was brave, but because I never felt particularly afraid, I didn’t consider it bravery, just transparency in action.

 

” I always thought that being brave or courageous meant acting in spite of fear. But again, I don’t recall feeling particularly fearful very many times in my life. Perhaps my sensitive soul has blocked that particular sensation from my memory.

 

“I remember (keenly!) feeling unseen, unacknowledged. That was upsetting and disheartening. I remember being corrected for wanting to be seen and acknowledged as a child. I remember feeling misplaced in a family that didn’t value or understand what I now recognize as my neurodiversity.  I was ‘too loud” — a ‘sparkler/firecracker’, a distraction from things that seemed to matter more — and DID, for legitimate reasons that I couldn’t possibly understand at that tender age.

 

“Anyway, I now (belatedly) realize why so many have commented on my bravery or courage. As the song goes, ‘I did it my way’ for the most part and I guess that’s relatively rare! Putting it that way sounds self-centered, but my self matters to me as much as my heart-centered advocacies matter to me. I want to live this life with an empty bucket list and as few regrets as possible.

 

“I don’t love a lot of people, but the people I do love know who they are. I make sure of that.

 

“I LIKE a lot of people. They don’t hear about it or feel it that often, but when we’re together (virtually or actually) they feel and know it.

 

“I also DON’T like/trust specific people (thankfully, very few!). And although I’m not mean or cruel about it, they, too, now how I feel and steer clear, or I will retreat from them as soon as I diplomatically can. Our vibes actually repel each other.

 

“I don’t play games. I rarely try to change minds. When I get political, it isn’t to change minds but to stand in solidarity publicly with kindred policy wonks, with my progressive tribe.

 

EXCEPT IN ONE PARTICULAR CASE

 

“Yes, I did try (my damndest!) to get my little sister to take her blinders off and see T-Wrecks for who and what he (and the PRESENT GOP) really is, but that’s because she’s my sister and they’re hurting her and the family she produced, too; she just doesn’t listen to any news that isn’t far right disinformation.  I don’t know how she’s feeling about T-Wrecks these days after the Epstein revelations. Maybe she would no longer hire him in her bank or allow him to babysit her granddaughters,  as she said she would do in years past.  (I certainly hope that’s the case, anyway!)

 

“I remember how horrified and offput she was to learn that her favorite singer Kenny Rogers had exchanged phone sex with fans (HORRORS! LOL!)  and that Bill Clinton had received BJ’s from an adult, willing intern (Monica Lewinsky). What is she thinking now about the allegations of a post-birth baby’s murder and elimination into Lake Michigan and the other allegations against him? I can only hope she has had enough and has finally seen the Man behind the Myth, the charlatan behind the Wizard of OZ.

 

“But I (unilaterally) no longer believe I can change her mind with verifiable facts (felony convictions, investigation results, etc.). She will continue to believe whatever she wants to believe.

 

“We all like to believe we’re right based on information and evidence we’ve seen (or just gut feelings).  It’s how we make an unsure, insecure world feel more sure and secure. “Trump will take care of me” works until it doesn’t. (Just ask Marjorie Taylor Greene.) Don’t question him or you become an object of derision, scorn and death threats.

 

“But… not my circus, not my monkeys! I gotta let it go. I’m not gonna be the one who convinces her; she can barely tolerate me. Someone with more influence on her than T-Wrecks would have to do it, and that leaves her son, who is as far down the rabbit hole as she is, last time I checked in with him post-January 6th 2021!

 

“So yeah, I’m NOT holding my breath for that miracle!

 

This is no way to end a blog post… on a downer… but it’s such a long entry now that I’d better shut up anyway!  More fun stuff will be along tomorrow!!!

 

Stay tuned!