Right now, I have a sick nine-year-old goat. I’m addressing his needs and he’s hanging in there. If he doesn’t survive, I will need to re-home the remaining goat — little nine-year-old Tillie — because no goat should ever be alone. And because I need to stop adopting animals at my age, I won’t be replacing Mr. Tumnus if he succumbs any time soon. (Perish the negative thought! I love “Mr.Tummy” with a passion!)
Right now, my finances are in the toilet. I’m scaling back to bare bones essentials and working toward developing additional sources of income. If I don’t succeed there, I will be okay barring future unexpected expenses. I have Social Security (unless the GOP takes it away — VOTE BLUE IN 2024 AND BEYOND!!!) and a puny pension, so I can squeak by. I just won’t be able to do anything “miscellaneous”/outside survival mode anymore. And that’s do-able — just not my idea of a truly happy retirement. (Others are facing far worse prospects, though. I’m keeping that firmly in mind so I don’t engage in a pity party for my flailing fortunes.)
Right now, I still have a phlegmy cough and a snotty nose that won’t stop misbehaving. I’m walking daily (7k steps) and drinking lots of liquids. I’m getting better, just not fast enough to suit me. I need the walks to boost my endorphins, because nothing else in life is furnishing me with them right now (kitty snuggles notwithstanding). That’s what sucks most. I’m not used to being this bereft of endorphins!
Right now, my energy level is at about 90%, so I’m napping as necessary. (It isn’t my age; it’s this frickin’ residual/post COVID challenge!)
And … I’m doing my best not to worry about any of the above because I’m doing what I can, given the finances I have, to achieve happy endings and that’s all I CAN do.
I have no more to give, no more to offer in exchange for any better outcomes than the ones that will happen.
Call me a fatalist.
No, call me an optimistic fatalist.
Whatever the Universe delivers, I will deal with it.
Because I can. I know I can, these days. Finally. At age 73!!!
“If your story doesn’t have a happy ending, it just means you’re not at the end of your story. Keep going, one foot in front of the other.”
The universe has never failed me yet! I don’t expect it to start now!
Namaste’.
