Sir Ian McKellen has given me a new level of communication and connection to strive for.
Recently, I saw a brief interview with him where he’s talking about how wonderful it is to hear (and to say) “Love,” when responding to someone else’s comments or presence. By the end of it, I was sold, totally!
So, I am going to develop a habit of saying “love” in place of people’s names when I’m with them.
IT WON’T ALWAYS BE EASY, UNTIL IT BECOMES A HABIT!
Without any doubt, it will be easier to say “love” in the presence of some people than in others, but that’s exactly why I need to adopt it. I need to start deconstructing the perceived “lovableness quotient” of the few people I interact with who truly chap my hide.
I know I will be able to say it to 99.99% of the people I know without it feeling foreign, because 99.99% of the people I know at all well (and continue to hang around on occasion) are “loves” to me. Easy peasy!
It’s when I will be faced with saying it to Trump supporters, insurrectionist supporters, far-right sexists, misogynsts, white supremacists, xenophobes and (God Forbid! WHAT A CHALLENGE THAT WOULD BE!!!) Trump himself that it will probably stick in my craw.
NOT ENTIRELY THEIR FAULT, RIGHT?!
But I will say “love” anyway, because these are deeply misled and TRULY frightened individuals who are being played by the powers-that-be. They’re low information folks who believe the fear-mongering claptrap that Trump and Faux Noise (fake outrage talking heads) bigots spout.
These folks deserve my pity and compassion, not icy silence (in place of the condescending vitriol that could have come out previously had I spoken up). I need to step up to the plate and cut them some slack. I need to come across more like the Dalai Lama than their hero, you know?
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
So, as of today I am going to address people using the word ‘love’ in place of their names. Even if I feel compelled to push back against some of their statements or beliefs, I will do so and end with “love” in place of their names.
EXAMPLE
“Cannot agree with you, love. My experiences (with black/brown people, with LGBTQIA+ people, with immigrants, with migrant workers, with asylum seekers, etc.) have revealed something quite different than you appear to believe about them.”
Civilization demands mutual civility and I don’t know how we’ll ever become truly civilized until we decide to de-escalate and address those with whom we disagree with love. Respecting them may be a bridge too far at times, but calling them ‘love’ certainly isn’t. Hurt people hurt people. Scared people have been hurt, whether they know it or not, just not by the people that they have been told to fear, strangely enough. (Why that fact hasn’t occurred to them is beyond my ken.)
If more people had called them “love”, they would likely be far less fearful and more able to open their eyes to facts and to the possibility of tearing down some of the walls they have erected to keep them safe from paranoid thoughts of, “They’re out to get me. I have to be careful.”
No, people need to be care-full. Full of care. Full of love. Full of what it takes to create a world in which everyone feels safe, loved and supported. Indigenous cultures have it right. They support each other from cradle to grave. There are no outcasts or perceived “irredeemable” others.
That’s the world I want to live in, so I need to start sounding that way, no matter who I’m with!
If you feel like joining me, please do! And let’s applaud Sir Ian McKellen, who brought this “love-ly” concept into such sharp focus!!!
