As a follow up to yesterday’s Siempre Radio apprearance about self-care, I want to go into more detail about something I mentioned briefly which requires more explanation.

 

A.C.T.

 

If you watched the show, you know I used the acronym A.C.T to help viewers and listeners remember the three steps.

 

A stands for Affirmation. During this step you affirm that you are here, that you are whole, and that you are exactly who you are supposed to be; and to affirm that your goals are defined and ready to roll out, starting with the first step.  An example I gave about the goals part was of someone who wants to become an influencer for good but who is afraid of public speaking. Their next step would be to join Toastmasters to help themselves over the “stage fright” hurdle to become more relaxed and animated as a public speaker.

 

C stands for Contemplation or Centering. Whether that’s meditation, prayer, keeping a journal, or some other form of getting in touch with how you’re feeling and processing your inner and outer worlds, this is the step where you de-escalate from your anxieties, worries, fears and angst to connect with your baseline (untroubled, calm) essence.

 

T stands for Treatment. This step will be different for each person.Those of you with anxiety and/or depression issues will treat yourself differently than would a Type A personality. Introverts and extroverts will treat themselves in different ways.  Make sense?

 

BEFRIEND YOUR BRAIN & BODY

 

Now, here’s the additional information that I didn’t get time to explore except in a perfunctory manner yesterday during the show. I mentioned briefly about tuning into what happens chemically and hormonally inside your body when you smile of your own accord (whether you feel like smiling or not!). Right now I would like you to smile.  Please do so willingly, even if you aren’t feeling “smily.”

 

Do you feel what happens inside your body and brain when you do this?  Pay close attention. Just the act of smiling (even an artificial smile, without a cause) turns on chemicals and hormones that make your body feel better and more uplifted. That’s because your brain cues your body about how to respond!  And the next time you genunely smile, unbidden, out of pure joy, excitement or whatever,  really tune in and pay attention to how your body is feeling: light, healthy, happy, delighted. What causes the feelings are the chemicals and hormones that the “smily” situation elicits.

 

What does this tell you, apart from your ability to expand, extend and produce the flood of chemicals and hormones that make your body feel healthy and whole?  What it should tell you is that your anxiety, depression or Type A personality also releases chemicals and hormones that depress your ability to feel healthy and whole, and that you carry within you the antidote to the feelings that are elicited externally and internally!

 

So, next time you realize you’re clenching your fists or jaw, relax them, and actually FEEL how your body chemistry changes to match what you have intentionally directed it to do!

 

This is crucial, powerful information!

 

FOR ANXIETY SUFFERERS

 

So, let’s practice something,those of you with anxiety issues, first.  Instead of allowing your anxiety to curl your body into a self-protective fetal position, try reclining on your bed or the floor, face up with your arms and legs outspread, more or less instructing your body to truly take in your immediate “now,” the benign present moment.  By putting your body in an open, welcoming position, your brain will release the chemicals and hormones that tell you you are safe and  that whatever is stressing you out has no real control over you inwardly.  (I have been anxious and have experienced panic attacks in the past, so I’m talking from experience. This method has helped me immensely!)

 

FOR DEPRESSION SUFFERERS

 

And for those of you with depression, instead of allowing it to stop you in your tracks and stick you in that deep, dark hole, do the opposite. Get up, take a shower, get dressed, and go for a walk, a bike ride, or go play pickleball or some other sport or activity  that makes you feel good.  Do whatever you enjoy doing when depression isn’t weighing you down.

 

Now, some people truly have hormonal imbalances that cause depression, so if getting more active doesn’t do the job, have your hormones checked.If they’re genuinely out of whack, there are drugs that can help put them back in order. But most situational depression can be overcome with activities you enjoy and by reminding yourself often, “This won’t last forever.”  Your depression will lift at some point and you will smile and laugh again.  (I have been depressed in the past — situational depression — and this method has helped me outlast and overcome bouts of depression.)

 

FOR TYPE A’S

 

For those of you with Type A personalities  (I’m among you!), you may want to treat yourself simply by taking a “sanity” break, cancelling unnecessary activities, and just sitting quietly with yourself doing nothing, zip, zero, nada.  Because in some cases, Type As are running from themselves and their perceived shortcomings. They feel they have to “measure up” in some way.  Believe me, you measure up!  You meet, exceed and annihilate the baseline for measuring up!  It’s okay to relax, sit back, smile and perhaps start a Gratitude Journal so you aren’t always chasing the next “squirrel” that scampers by. Make sense?

 

FOR INTROVERTS  (I’m AMONG YOU but working to become an ambivert!), you may want to assess why you are insular.  Are you fearful of interaction or rejection or not measuring up? Did someone indicate to you that the way you presented yourself as a child was “improperly ebullient” and that you should “tone it down”?  That’s what happened to me. At some point early on I decided that I should be seen and not heard, so I became a writer, because I still had a helluva lot to say!  If you can’t identify why you’re an introvert (fear, shame, whatever) you’re just a natural introvert and there isn’t anything you really need to work on, unless you’re on fire to change the world and you need to find ways to do that without overtaxing your available “social capital.”  I did so by becoming a writer.

 

FOR EXTROVERTS (I’m naturally extroverted but was “schooled” to be quiet and disappear!), you may want to assess why you need so many other people to feel alive. For some, it’s because they get antsy being alone; their minds start dredging up nasty crap to make them feel lousy about themselves, so they fill their calendars with people and activities so the quiet times are few and far between. If that’s the case with you, it’s time to start with the A and C steps above and start weaning yourself off the notion that you are defective or un-love-ly in some way. Nobody’s perfect, and as soon as you can embrace yourself, warts and all, the hormones and chemicals inside you will deliver a more relaxed, satisfying series of “alone times.” But if you’re just naturally extroverted (not trying to overcome some secret shame, scarring, or  sense of not measuring up), you’re good to go!  Party on and light up the lives of the people in your orbit!

 

FOR PROCRASTINATORS (I have never been one; I’m a producer and have never missed a deadline or been late to a scheduled event, even as introverted and shy as I am — part of my Type A personality!), you will want to dig deep to find out why you procrastinate. Much of the time, it’s due to F.E.A.R (False Evidence Appearing Real): fear of not being able to bring your assignment or task  up to snuff sufficiently so that it passes muster; fear of stepping outside your comfort zone (which is where all progress lives!), or something else.

 

Dredge it up, affirm that it’s a bogus F.E.A.R., and then put whatever you’re procrastinating over on your immediate to do list (and don’t let yourself off the hook until you accomplish it).  The only way to defeat F.E.A.R  is to confront it, acknowledge it, and step through it.  When you don’t do this, it will loom larger and larger until it appears insurmountable.  Pastor Dennis (who said he’d probably be deemed a heretic for saying this) says FEAR may well be what the Bible means when it talks about demons, because demons are tasked with keeping humans from their divinely appointed rounds, from their desired and inspiring destinies.)

 

I hope this additional information helps you in your quest to A.C.T in accordace with your highest aspirations so you can light the world with your radiant spirit.

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

 

Disclaimer: I am not a trained medical professional, counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Always, always consult with your health care providers if you’re experiencing emotional or physical issues that are causing you stress, despair or to feel hopeless.