Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday, dear Krispy
Happy Birthday to me!
Flashback to my youth, when Dad called me “Krispy!”
Korea vet Ben Taylor and I are going to “Rock the Dock” on the waterfront in Tacoma for brunch today. That will be fun. It’s one of Lisa’s and my favorite places to eat in Tacoma, so it’s time to introduce Ben to it.
I invited him to invite me to breakfast or lunch because he was going to treat me (his turn) at Elmer’s two days ago and a very kind couple picked up the tab for our meals because Ben was wearing his VFW cap and they wanted to honor him. So, he still “owes” me (LOL) and it’s fun to hang with him, which is why he’s closer to us these days than he has been for years.
I Have Always Ducked Having Birthday Celebrations
As a shy introvert, I have always ducked having birthday celebrations. I don’t like being the center of attention unless I’m writing or on some kind of stage somewhere talking about my favorite things. I’m beginning to truly ENJOY (in a relaxed manner) my EVER NEW podcast with Hannah McCrane, which happens every other Saturday at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Time. The next one will be March 12th.
I don’t even remember childhood birthday parties — my own, that is. If I had them (I presume I did!), they were always so traumatic to me that I have blocked them out of my memories. Being in the spotlight in that particular way has always been anathema to me. I mean, if anyone should be celebrated on my birthday, it should be my parents! They’re the ones who conspired to get me here in the flesh! I had nothing to do with the decision!
I know birthdays are meant to celebrate my annual trip around the sun and any contributions I have made to other peoples’ wellbeing, happiness or what have you: I “get” that. But it seems too me oriented, even that way! What about all the folks who feel that way about me? They have done the same for me when it comes to MY wellbeing, happiness and what have you! So, they are the ones I’d like to celebrate on my birthday!
Birthdays feel pretty much all one way unless someone tells me (in words) how I have improved or enhanced their lives in some way. That’s when I get truly touched; when I realize I’ve made a memorable difference as a friend, relative, acquaintance, etc.
It’s the people on Facebook who send me heartfelt, specific comments that nearly always put me in, or near, tears. As a writer, words strike me more profoundly than birthday cakes, cards, and gifts. My primary love language is words, in other (uh) words! So, every time I get something like that, any time of the year, it feels like my birthday!
Any time I write, my love is going down on paper. Even when I’m ranting over something or (rarely) someone, behind it all is love, or thwarted love, or twisted love, or compassionate love, or some kind of love.
Behind my anger at the former president lies deep sadness for the way in which he was raised (without love, by a sociopathic father) to create the monster he became. It’s grief over his stunting as a human(e) being. It’s recognizing what a lack of love can do to a person.
When I go this route with him, I feel deep compassion for him. This doesn’t mean that I think he should escape justice for the many crimes he has committed both by commission and omission, but it does mean that my heart is in the right place. I simply wish he hadn’t squandered his life as a result of his criminal upbringing. Even as I squirm as I await justice for him, I feel deep compassion for his woundedness, his scarring, and his abject aloneness. The only people still hanging with him are deathly afraid of him, I believe. They aren’t loving him. They’re looking to survive their relationship, as he sought to survive his with his own father. Whatever it takes, they will do. So they, too, are wounded…
How did I get off on that topic? My heart carries me in strange directions, at times. There’s proof!!!
Anyway, I thank everybody on FB who sent me birthday wishes. I hope I responded to every one of them, but there were literally hundreds, so I may have missed a few. I hope it wasn’t YOU, if I did. So, this is YOUR thank you if I missed you in the avalanche of best wishes that came my way yesterday and today!!!
I WILL CELEBRATE YOU, MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!
