Locally, I know five copywriters personally. Two are men; three are women.  Four of them (two men and two women) are self-proclaimed copywriters.  Their portfolios reveal them to be newbies/wannabes. They’ve written feature pieces, some of which are pleasantly and properly written but far from powerfully written. A copywriter has to know how to write powerful, riveting, hypnotic copy, not just pleasant copy

The problem, as I see it, is that a lot of people who want to hire copywriters don’t know how to separate the wheat from the chaff, the tried-and-true from the trying-their-best. As a sad result they get burned and forever after may consider all copywriters scalawags and charlatans in the same way that we usually consider used car salespeople rascals. Which makes it harder for good ones (copywriters and used car salespeople alike) to make a decent living.

Case in point

(I’ve told this story before but it bears repeating because it was quite a while ago.) A plumber came to my house to look at a situation I had. He was awesome!  He was informative, told me I was worrying about nothing unless such-and-such started to happen, and charged me nothing for this wisdom, since it took him such little time to reach a diagnosis. He said he was in the area on another job and not to worry about it.

I was so impressed by his manner and thoughtfulness, I asked him if he ever networked. He said, “I did, but I’ve gotten so busy that I don’t need to anymore.” I said, “That’s great! I can understand why! You’re terrific. But give me a handful of your cards because I want to hand them out and tell my networking partners about you.”  As he handed me a small stack with his thanks, he may have felt obliged to reciprocate in some way. He asked, “What do you do?”  I told him, “I’m a copywriter.”

His reaction was stark. His body language changed immediately. He took a step back, away from me, and fell speechless. His eyes snapped angrily as they sought the grass at his feet.  His aversion to my profession was both visible and palpable.

I said, “Looks like you’ve been burned by a copywriter.”

He said, “That’s an understatement.”

I said, “I am so sorry!  I’m afraid anyone can hang a shingle and call himself or herself a copywriter.”

“We found that out the hard way.”

“Again, I’m so sorry. But just so you know: not all copywriters are scoundrels.”

He relaxed a little and responded, “I suppose so. But my experience with the one we hired has poisoned that well, for sure.”

I didn’t offer him a card. I could tell be wasn’t going to be using a copywriter in any way, shape, or form ever again…or even recommending one!

That stinks, doesn’t it?  So when wannabe copywriters ask me to help them get into the business, or to mentor them, or to outsource my overload to them, I ask to see their portfolios or any other copy they’ve written.  In most cases, I decline.  They show very little promise. (On a side note, I would LOVE to find younger writers with great promise. I will need to refer my clients to someone else when I retire in the not-too-distant future, based on how quickly the years are whizzing past these days!)

I do occasionally help one gentleman who shows some promise. But even he floors me unexpectedly from time to time by emailing me comments like “I seen an article…”  I just shudder, wondering, “Am I wasting my time even with him?!”

I called him on it. He said he was tired and got lazy.  I don’t buy it for a minute. If I was asking a copywriter to mentor or help me I would make darn sure that what I sent them–even an email–was as good as I could make it.

The other male copywriter I know sent me a “rough draft” of something he had written and asked me to comment on its quality. It was fit only for lining the bottom of a bird cage. If it really was his first rough draft, it needed massive work and he should have worked on it before sending it to me because as it was, it just wasted my time. If it was the best he could do and he fibbed about it being a rough draft so I’d (he hoped) find value in it, it was a giant FAIL.

So I KNOW why and how people are getting burned…

• They’re refusing to pay enough to make sure they’re hiring a quality writer. (Perhaps they haven’t researched the matter to discover what a good copywriter is worth and think secretary-level or lower wages will get them a superstar. Go fish!)
• They’re not asking to see portfolios or links to online copy the copy writer has written, edited or copy-enhanced.
• They haven’t asked the copy writing candidates who their favorite copywriters are, or the mistakes they made starting out, or what does a copywriter know that an English or Creative Writing teacher doesn’t teach.
• Some aren’t sure of the differences between there, they’re and their or then and than or anecdote and antidote, or its/it’s, etc. so they simply can’t tell when a writer has what it takes to do the job well.
• They haven’t read a single copy writing book (or even an article) to see what good copy writing looks like and why it works, so they don’t know how to tell who has the craft down pat and who is flailing.

Do some homework before you hire a copywriter

Whether you’re hiring a writer for a one-off or looking for someone for a long-term partnership, do your homework. If you don’t know enough about great copy to be able to choose between the candidates you like, hire someone who does know. I can make myself available to do this for you for less than you’d pay me to write your copy, if you don’t think you can afford me right now.

But do factor the following into the “can’t afford you right now” equation:  How long will you continue to struggle if you go with a bargain-basement wannabe writer who doesn’t know what he or she is doing when it comes to getting your target audience to stay and play?   You only get one chance (a chance that lasts, on average, just eight seconds online) to make a good first impression. Go with lackluster copy from a newbie and you’ll end up fighting an uphill battle to re-engage the folks who elected not to do business with you because your copy didn’t convince them to stay long enough to learn more about you. How do you get the same eyes back to your site when they didn’t like what they found there the first time?

Professional copywriters do a lot more than write good copy.  We’re counselors and advocates, too. We know target audiences’ pain/problem/predicament points, and how to push their buttons so they engage, tweet, and leave glowing testimonials to extol the virtues of their service providers’ awesomeness.

Please watch the video (Rotary Speech 1-6-2015). In under 20 minutes, you’ll fully understand why a professional copywriter is the only way to go. Don’t end up as disenchanted by your experience as my plumber was.

It’s a jungle out there. Don’t get snookered.  Spend your hard-earned marketing dollars on what works, not on a whim.