I’m back to the keyboard today to transfer here to the blog anything that needs to be shared or remembered long term from my handwritten notes.

 

I’m loving writing in longhand so much that I have pretty much abandoned the keyboard on most days. Now it looks like I have 28 pages of handwritten notes to go through and decide what to put here and what can be relegated to the trash can.  Gads, I hope a lot can go into the trash! (You may hope so, too. You may think some of what follows could have gone into the trash, too.  Hope not!)

 

On January 7th I wrote:

 

“I ate more homemade chicken and rice soup for lunch. (Love my crockpot!) I’ll probably have it for dinner, too. If I don’t eat the rest before end of day tomorrow I will have to throw it out, and it’s too yummy to even contemplate having to do that…

 

Deb Texted Me  

 

She’s leaving the suite I’ll be renting fully furnished, thankfully. She texted to ask what I wanted taken out, figuring I had some or a lot of my own stuff. I told her all I have is a crockpot and rice cooker plus two suitcases of personal items and that I’ll have some groceries, plus a few lamps and two cat trees. I told her I sold everything in the States and moved here with just two suitcases, so that’s why I’m renting furnished places.

 

I’m glad we got that settled so she doesn’t have to do extra work beyond cleaning it after the current renter moves out.

 

Mikey just came in looking for food but didn’t find any

 

Charli followed him around inside but didn’t harass him. I’m glad. They’re both good kitties. (Are there any BAD kitties?  Not in my experience, and I’ve had cats all my life.)

 

Walked for 90 minutes and 6117 steps, most of them on level ground and gravel in front of Eileen’s home. Took Blanco with me for one round from Diane’s place to Eileen’s and back so Eileen’s dogs wouldn’t bark at him thr whole time I was traipsing back and forth in front of the place.

 

I haven’t seen anyone at Eileen’s yet to explain what I’m doing. So — so far, anyway —  what I’m doing isn’t upsetting or concerning them in any way. That’s good, because if they told me NO (I don’t believe they would), I’d be stuck for where else to go that would be equally good for my foot and ankle physical therapy routine.  The doctor encouraged lots of walking but with less ankle tweaking and twisting.

 

Jon and Sterling

 

Jon’s friend Sterling from the US is here. They’ve gone somewhere for a week farther afield in Costa Rica. It’s good for Jon to get away for a while . He’s helping two or three people run their immigration application races this month, so he has been a busy guy in addition to taking others to medical appointments. He tells me February will be less busy for him, which is why he’s available to take Lisa and me around while she’s here.

 

23 Days to the Move — 34 Days til Lisa Arrives

 

These are my next two major events, as far as scheduling and adventures are concerned. I also need to get to my new place on January 30th to see the suite, pay the rent and deposit, and sign the 3-month lease.

 

Charli has been Outside All Morning 

 

That’s a change. She usually goes out for a short time in the morning and maybe once again in the afternoon, but most of the time she’s inside with me when I’m at home, often just an arm’s length away.

 

Sitting here in my underwear and knee-high socks…

 

enjoying the breeze that occasionally wafts in through the screen door, and thinking about Tacoma Washington weather right now. It’s probably snowpants and heavy jacket weather there. I am soooo glad I will never have to experience that again. I was super duper sick of it the last two years I lived there.

 

My RMD for 2026 is $948.14

 

The Required Minimum Distribution amount from my 401-K plan this years is less than it was last year by almost $75. That means my 401K did not earn enough to keep me on an even keel. No big surprise there.

 

Ann, my agent, says I may have to transfer my AXOS account to Fidelity or Charles Schwab if I don’t ever plan to return to the U.S. to live She’s doing research right now to find out more.

 

To get my RMD, I need two-factor authentication, and my US phone number doesn’t work anyore, so she is checking to see if my CR phone number will work as one of the two factors.  If not, maybe I can used both email addresses or a friend’s or relative’s US phone number as one of the two factors. She’s looking into that.  This is a minor PITA (as is most US  based stuff), but it’s for my protection, to be sure someone else isn’t imitating me and trying to defraud me.  Ann and I spoke on my CR phone via WhatsApp, so she knows it’s me she’s dealing with, but the system still requires two-factor authentication,

 

Windy Season = Scorpion Season

 

Just saw a reminder on Grecia Expats (I think) that windy season is here  and to make sure to shake out our shoes and slippers before putting them on. Scorpions don’t like wind so they look for “caves” to reside in.

 

My shoes, boots and slippers are always on shelves up off the floor, but I’ve already made a habit of shaking and upending them before putting them on. I have never found anything in any of them, but scorpions can climb walls so I continue to look for them, and I keep my sheets tucked in, too.   The scorpions here aren’t deadly to humans, but their sting is no fun, so I don’t want to encounter and antagonize one, for sure!

 

Eyebrow/Eyelid Lift

 

I think a freaking eyebrow or eyelid lift may be in my future. I have eyelid folds “drapes” that interfere with my visual acuity unless I raise my eyebrows to lift them up. My dad had the same problem. It’s no fun.

 

I wonder what something like that would cost down here and if, afterward, I’d look like I was constantly “startled” or “amazed” — you know, how people look when something makes them throw their whole forehead and eyebrows into an “eyes wide open” pose.  That would look dumb!

 

I’ll probably take the bus to Grecia tomorrow to get USD cash for Deb and some groceries even though I won’t be meeting anyone for lunch. I need to find out which of the Banco Nacional ATMs in the lobby dispense US dollars. I think I know which one it is, but I need to ask to be sure.

 

Casita Security Deposit

 

Sure hope I can get some or all of my $750 security deposit back from Cat when I leave here. I could really use it to host Lisa while she’s here. Otherwise, I’ll have to dip into savings and slowly rebuild that over time. Either way, it’ll all work out.

 

CALICO KITTY APPEARANCE

 

Here comes a lovely calico cat down the drainfield next to my casita. What a stunningly beautiful creature she is.  I will try to get a photo at some point…

 

Charli is asleep on the couch next to me so she doesn’t know there’s an interloper outside. That’s probably good! But Charli is even being pretty decent with Mikey lately. Wee hisses but no shrieking or bum rushes. A step in the right direction!

 

SO MUCH FOR A NAP!

 

The nap I had just started minutes ago was ended when Mikey came in to pilfer from Charli’s food dish in her bedroom. Charli was asleep on my chest (we were on the couch in the living room) and she heard him open the screen door. (I didn’t.) She sat up and growled a little, so that clued me in. I saw the open screen door, got up, and headed for Charli’s bedroom.

 

Mikey had reached the food dish but when he saw me coming in his direction he scooted back out, with Charli hot on his heels to make sure his eviction was a complete success!

 

Ate Chicken Soup for Lunch

 

There’s one meal of it left, which I’ll have for dinner.  It’s very tasty! I add seasoning and Lizano sauce to make it irresistible.

 

IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS…

 

I will be 75 years old, one of those “milestone birthdays.” That’s extraordinary!  I remember Mom and De turning 75 and thinking, “WOW! That’s both amazing and surprising! You don’t look or act — or even seem to feel — 75 years old!”

 

I remember De joking, “I’m gonna go stick my head in the stove!” — harkening back to his Suicide Theater portrayal of a young man who couldn’t even manage to “off” himself in a customary fashion. He was NOT happy to be turning the big 75 — or maybe, like me, he was just in disbelief or denial!

 

75 SOUNDS OLD

 

Or it did — until I got this close to reaching it!  I don’t feel old. I don’t even think I look old. I have a bit of a wattle under my chin, and a few facial wrinkles — laugh lines, mostly. In this climate I’ve stayed hydrated and well-lubed with sunscreen and lotion.

 

I’ve never married or raised children, so I haven’t been “ridden hard and put away wet”: over-used, misused, abused, taken for granted excessively.  I think all of that, cumulatively, is what ages people — that and sun exposure, for sure (something I’ve avoided and mitigated against most of my life).

 

I’ve been fortunate to be able to live according to my own lights and inner drives. Not everyone is strong, stubborn, and privileged enough to be able to pull that off, but I pretty much have.

 

So, “age” to me is more a marker of one’s cumulative experiences, labors, joys, and traumas, and a lot of my aging took place while I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing: going after goals, emptying my bucket list, hanging with good, fun people and wonderful critters.

 

This doesn’t mean I’d love to live forever!

 

It hasn’t all been a bed of roses — and even roses have thorns. Even the good times, good people, and good pets brought eventual heartache and heartbreak, because they all eventually died (or will die), and I’m not at a place any longer (in my mind) that says I absolutely NEED any more time, or accomplishments, or trials than I’ve already had.

 

Death doesn’t intimidate or haunt me in the least

 

I recognize it as a facet of the experience of being an aware being. It’s as natural as a bee, a tree, a you, a me.

 

I’m not afraid of being dead and gone. I certainly have preferences for ways in which I’d like to depart, of course: peaceful, pain-free, stress-free and holding the hands of a loved one who ALLOWS me to go and doesn’t try to keep me here. But I’m not in charge of HOW I’ll die unless I become terminally ill and decide to fly to the Netherlands to be released from life there.  (See, I’ve even looked into that, to keep as much control over it as it’s possible to have.)

 

Anyway, to me 75 is just a number

 

Mom lived to 77 and died of brain cancer; De lived to 79 and died of stomach cancer. Aunts and grandmas have lived into the late 80’s and early 90’s and passed naturally.

 

I don’t know how long I’ll live or what I’ll die of, but it won’t be “of regret” for sure!  I’m glad to have had the life I’ve had, but when it ends, I won’t be sad or sorry, and I won’t be wishing for more of it, or for heaven, or for reincarnation. I will be wishing for complete, total, eternal release from everything.

 

Utter Annihilation: No thoughts, no attachments — feels just right for me.

 

Enough is enough, you know?

 

I’m not depressed. Just on the verge of “too weary” to want to have to keep on keepin’ on beyond this one finite life experience. It has all been OVERWHELMING for someone who feels as deeply as I do, as a neurodivergent individual.

 

I didn’t ask to be born but I absolutely insist on dying at some point! I don’t WANT eternal life. I want whatever I had or was before I incarnated here. Whatever ithat was, it left no scars on my memory, psyche or soul. If I was nowhere and nothing, that sounds heavenly to me. No experiences, expectations, thinking, extrapolating, wishing, hoping, regretting… What a CONCEPT!!!

 

And tomorrow, or next year, or ten years from now I might feel entirely differently about this matter, but it’s where I am right now.

 

On January 9th I wrote:

 

Just finished walking 7500+ steps here in my casita! I figure it’s safest to walk on level floorboards here. I can also incorporate the other PT exercises right here.

 

Decided not to travel to Grecia today

 

I’ll go again on Wednesday after the Social Security check drops into my account so I don’t have to take anything more out of savings this month than I already have. I’ll see what the maximum is that I can withdraw per day using a debit card. I think it’s $250 but if it’s more, I’ll take more so I can have the $950 squirreled away by Jan 30th when I need to pay it to Deb.

 

Left Hand Scab

 

The scab on the heel of my left hand (which took the brunt of my fall) is thick and secure now.  That’s good.  It is no longer tender.

 

Charli is on the far end of the couch

 

She watched me walk back and forth hundreds of times to get my 7K steps in. She is such a good little “nurse.” No doubt she thought I was NUTS to be walking to and fro for no apparent reason at all — just as she does every time I voluntarily drench myself in the shower — but she’s forebearing and just lets me do whatever cockamamie activity I dream up. Surely she knows by now that she’s adopted and not my biological kitten, because she has far better sense than I do about certain things!

 

Samoel Black sent me two images of him and his best friend

 

…on the highest ridge in the Austrian Alps. They’re bundled in Arctic gear, colder’n a witch’s tit, and still having a blast.  More power to them!  (I’ll stick to the tropics, thank you every much!)

 

The wind keeps blowing the screen door open 

 

I just taped it shut.  This will keep both the cats and the occasional insect outside where they belong.

 

Had some weird dreams last night

 

I don’t remember many details but one of them was about a group of raccoons. I remember saying, “Charli knows all about raccoons, so she’s fine with them.”) (I had Charli when I raised and released two rabboon kittens two or three years ago.  Do a search on “Solstice” and the blog posts about them will pop up for you to read if you’re interested in that saga!

 

I think another dream was about DeForest Kelley, but I don’t recall any of those details.   But did get 9+ hors of sleep!

 

23 Days to the Move — 34 Days ’til Lisa!

 

Couting the days. Can you tell?

 

I’m NOT going to get into the fresh hell of US News today (other than to say ICE Murder Minneapolis). All I’ll say is it’s disgusting and additional people are waking up to reality. Is this — at long last — the tipping point? Who know?  But IT HAS TO STOP!  This regime needs to be brought to heel and JUSTICE dealt to them.

 

COSTA RICA — PURA VIDA!

 

Me encanto Costa Rica Totalmente.  TODOS!

 

I feel so CALM here. Life is slower, casual, peaceful, serene. My stomach and gut are relaxed (except when I take three minutes to check in on the U.S.)

 

Nature and windchimes have become my ever-present lullaby.

 

Walked 8388 steps so far today.

 

The chairs and couch here aren’t well-padded so when I sit for too long my left lower leg goes a little numb. Walking straightens it out, so I get up every couple of pages and traipse a little, which leads me to think that the problem may originate in my buttocks. I know that for a while, months ago, it felt like I had a kind of hitch in my gitalong there but it eventually stopped being noticeable. It never hurt — it just felt like the presence of a bunched up muscle or something. I’ll keep it in mind if anything starts to go wocka wocka beyond what I told the doctor on Monday. Everything is staying pretty status quo and I may even have a wee bit of a “front foot lift” on my left foot that wasn’t there before. I’m doing the recommended PT.

 

Crystal is Loving All of Her New Dresses and Skirts

 

She’s quite the fashion plate. She goes for the European style: flowy, flowery, classy.  She looks lovely.

 

I’d like to find some unisex Ellen Degeneres-type clothes. My wardrobe is getting a little baggy on me. I’m slowly losing weight. That’s a GOOD thing!

 

I’d like to weigh 135 to 140 to 145. I weigh 151 now. I think I’d look good — not underweight, just within normal range weight. Right now I’m still in the “overweight” category although given my bone structure (robust!) probably not by much. I weighed 125 and was skinny as a rail before I ballooned as an angst-driven trans teenager.  That’s too thin, probably. But that’s only 26 pounds from where I am right now, so I certainly can’t complain.

 

Groceries are here. Charli is back inside. Next Stop: BED!

 

But not yet. It’s only 3:31, two minutes to DE-TIME!

 

 

 

333 MONTGOMERY STREET

3:33 KELLEY PHONE CALL TIME

The Kelleys frequently called me at 3:33. I don’t know if 3:30 was their regularly scheduled, routine “calling time” but I’d often hear from them whether I was at work or at home at 3:33. So, whenever 333 appears and I happen to see it, I smile.  I sometimes even play De’s recorded message again at that time: “It’s DeForest again, Kris, just callin’ to check up on ya. So, when you get a chance, gimme a buzz…”

 

Oh, how I wish I could give him a buzz again!

 

To tell him about my move to Costa Rica, and my additional books (he launched my writing career in 1969!), and about my freelance copy and content writing career from 2007 to 2024.

 

I wouldn’t tell him about 911 or January 6th or what has happened to the country that he and his armed forces buddies defended from Nazis during WWII.

 

I would tell him about Barack Obama becoming POTUS and other positive highlights.

 

I’d just love to hear his voice talking to me, his chuckle, his sass, his wisdom and compassion

 

I’d tell him how many millions of people still love and remember him and about new fans who weren’t even born or were infants when he passed who love him dearly…

 

I’d love to “prove him wrong” right into his ear over the time he said, “There’s nothing deader than a dead actor” when he was asked how he would like to be remembered.  (He prefaced that with, “That’s for someone else to say, but …” and he added something like (this isn’t exact), “I just wonder if I will be remembered!”

 

Yeah, I’d give him a buzz he’d remember for the rest of eternity.

 

I love and miss him terribly…

 

when I allow myself to. But he’d hate knowing that I sometimes allow myself to  sit and wallow in his absence, so I try to limit the pity party to one day a year (June 11th). The rest of the time when I think of him it is with pure joy and gratitude. I was only lucky human being to have crossed paths with a man who DESERVES to be remembered and revered. I will never get over that, or him. I don’t want to! And I couldn’t if I tried.

 

He became a monumental part of my life. I love him without limit and always will.

 

See what happens when I see 3:33 on the clock — or anywhere else?!!!  Instant reverie.  WHEEE!

 

If there’s surviving, ongoing recall and consciousness after death

 

(one HUGE IF!)  I hope De remains mostly proud of me. I’m no prize, to be sure, but he did love me and I hope that continues. Thinking it might gives me grins and makes me feel more safe.

 

Which Brings Us to Today Sat Jan 10 at 1:12 p.m.

 

Walked 5656 steps this morning, most of it in front of Eileen’s.

 

Crockpotted a whole chicken between 4:35 and 10:30 this morning. Made some rice to go with it whenever I decide to eat again.

 

Took the wet trash to the canasta before I went to Eileen’s and walked. On the way back from the walk I stopped by Diane’s and Miguel’s for a few minutes to chat. She asked if I’ve been under the weather, and I said no but that I decided to walk in the casita yesterday to give my ankle a full day without twisting or turning. 

 

The calico cat came by to check out Mikey’s food dish this morning but I wasn’t able to get a picture of her. I’ll keep trying.

 

And now… you’re all caught up!