I’ve decided what’s ailing me.  I’m anxious, depressed and so, so tired.

 

I’m anxious about the upcoming November 5th election, which will decide the fate of our democracy. I’m depressed that I can’t do more to affect the outcome than I’m capable of (and already am) doing, and I’m exhausted just thinking about what will happen if Biden loses this year:

 

I will be moving out of the country.  That much, I’ve decided.

 

I will retain my citizenship to I can continue to vote, most likely, because I haven’t give up on America. I just can’t live in a country whose minority (white pontifically Puritan, hypocritical male supremacists) continues to stack the deck so no one else can catch a break.

 

I’m all too well aware that America was founded on white male supremacy and elevated to its global status on the backs of enslaved people, “owned” wives (until the 19th amendment passed and beyond to this very day, since we have been denied ownership of our very bodies), the working class, and the genocide of Indigenous populations, but I also know that the vast majority of its citizens today want to change all that so every citizen has a fair shot at living decent lives without working themselves to death to achieve The White Man’s objectives: more for him, less for the worker bees and child-rearers.

 

I know my malaise is situational

 

I feel stymied right now. I’m not even making enough money to be able to contribute to my favorite causes or put enough gas in my vehicle to attend government events where voices like mine must be heard.

 

I’ve thought about going to my PCP and letting her know how close to the end of the rope I feel, but I’m not suicidal, and all she can probably do is put me on an antidepressant and check my hormone levels to see if anything is out of whack there.

 

But I know that medication isn’t the answer to situational anxiety and depression. ACTION is the answer, and I simply don’t have much more in me other than the energy that gets me through my daily walk every day (to boost my “happy hormones”) and to look for more creative work (writing, voiceovers, coaching nervous public speakers remotely).

 

Corporate Opportunities Don’t Attract Me

 

I’ve even looked into remote work, but most of the employers are big corporations that want full-time or half-time people, and I simply don’t have the energy to devote more than ten hours a week to a corporation’s goals. After 16 years as a self-employed business owner, the idea of becoming another cog in a corporate wheel isn’t appealing. (Certain corporations, yes, but I’m already serving one I can think of in a good light part-time, just not often enough to keep putting money into my dwindling savings.)

 

I don’t want to help most corporations get richer: I want to help the rest of the people get out from under the corporate overlords who orchestrate their lives. I want to help entrepreneurs and start-ups get their sea legs under them. That’s where my passion and gifting lie.

 

Something’s gotta give.

 

And it can’t be me.

 

If I lose all hope, that will be a total tragedy!

 

“People call me a pessimist in my old age, but I’m not. 

I am an optimist who did not arrive.”

— Mark Twain

But there’s always tomorrow — until there isn’t.

 

Some days, I dread tomorrow. Most days, I welcome it. So, I’m still on the hopeful side of the sod.

 

That’s the good news, anemic as it is!

 

 

Please buy one of my books (ideally, since I much prefer EARNING my living!) or donate a financial tip below. Either one will give me some additional hope, which I would greatly appreciate right now!!!

 

Thank you!