On misgendering: Yeah, I do it, too, even with myself on occasion.

Yesterday when Lisa and I were driving to the bike shop to get my bike tires replaced (I got a flat on the Orting Trail; more on that in a minute, since I’ve now introduced it as a topic), she confessed to sometimes misgendering me.

I said, “That’s totally understandable. I misgender myself sometimes when I talk out loud!  It’s freaking habit and you hear me do it to myself, too. So, YEAH!  I get it!”

Continuing to misgender myself aloud, though, comes from a 70-year lifetime of adhering to other people’s assumptions, of “going along to get along.”

But since I have to keep correcting myself, I can understand why others mess up, too, even though now I’m man-chested and have never, ever worn feminine clothes except when mandated (school and church, which may help explain why I stopped attending church by seven or so).

So, for those of you with transgender friends, don’t assume you’ve indulged in an unpardonable sin if/when you misgender them. Just make sure you correct it as soon as you notice you’ve done it.  I do that to myself, these days. (“I’m a great mom-cat/mom-goat… I mean, dad-cat, dad-goat…”)

I notice I misgender myself most often when I’m referring to the part of myself that is tender, kind-hearted and nurturing. I rarely misgender myself when I’m being powerful, insistent and courageous.

That’s society’s bias rearing its ugly head

“Men are masterful!” (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  — don’t make me laugh!!!  How many masterful men do YOU actually know?); women are handmaidens: mindless supporters of their men, hearth- and bed-warmers, kitchen help and raisers of the next generation of masterful men and obedient, go-along-to-get-along women (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha — How many women do you know in this day and age who adhere to this phony baloney straitjacket that far too many men have expected women to be in for the past millennia?).

I need to get this society’s dirty laundry out of my head and embrace the fact that a guy like me can express tenderness and care for critters and other human beings without designating this tendency to “femaleness.” That’s pure horse manure.

Bernie Sanders, Robert F. Kennedy, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr. and others express/ed tenderness and care/concern for other people without being considered effeminate (another loaded word). My kindheartedness is every bit as male as theirs is, so I need to name it and claim it, and stop misgendering myself when I allude to it.

And now… the Bike Tire Incident …

As explained on my Facebook page yesterday …