My three newest clients are very happy.

 

I know — nothing new there. But every time I make a client deliriously happy, it feels like the very first time, so I’m going to celebrate!

 

I’ve been a published writer since 1969 and a copy/content/feature writer and editor as a freelancer since 2008. (All of 2007, I was a fledgling copywriter but not not a freelancer: I worked for an on-hold messaging company.)

 

But despite my exemplary track record, I still suffer from the same familiar malady that most people grapple with.

 

It’s called  “Imposter Syndrome.”

 

I firmly believe that Imposter Syndrome happens to everyone who isn’t a psychopath, sociopath or tyrant.

 

I don’t know a single business owner, entrepreneur or individual who doesn’t struggle with self-doubt, with that creepy little demon that sits on our shoulders whispering, “They think you’re pretty hot stuff right now, but you know better. If they ever find out, your career will be toast and your legacy (as a writer, musician, parent, manager, super star, celebrity, fill-in-the-blank) will go down in flames.”

 

I always worry that my most recent client will consider me a fraud

when I submit my first presentable draft.

So far, that has never happened …

But the kid who grew up in the sticks desperately wanting to become a writer … (Me!) the one who wrote and wrote and wrote but so seldom actually submitted anything for fear of having it rejected (even though when something was rejected, I never got a dispassionate form letter; I  always got a personal note saying, “You’re very good. This one just isn’t right for our publication. Keep writing!”)

That Kid still lives inside me!!!! 

 

I wish I could hate the little rascal, but I understand him.  And he makes me a better writer because I massage my first presentable draft to within an inch of its life before I submit it. I want my client not just to like it, but to be bowled over by it.  So it has to come very close to bowling me over, too. Sometimes it even does… and then I start to fear I’ll be devastated if the client ISN’T bowled over by it

So, even though I’ve never (yet!) crashed and burned, there’s always tomorrow, which is unpredictable. It could  happen!

 

But of course, if it did, I would never submit a first presentable draft. I would admit and accept defeat and send back the escrow money.

 

So, that’s why I keep going. I know I’m in control (for the most part) of my reputation. I can throw anything I write into the trash can and let the client know I couldn’t make it work.

 

Again, it hasn’t happened yet, but if it does, I’m in control of the consequences.

 

That’s why Imposter Syndrome never defeats me, and why the little guy who lived in the sticks and is with me still never gets the last word.  I do.

 

Like the little red engine, I think I can, I think I can… and then I do!

 

And it feels great when I crest the hill and see smiling faces on the other side.

 

It makes my day, every time, just as it did the very first time it happened….which resulted in this being published (DeForest Kelley submitted it to TV Star Parade and they accepted it as written!!!  My parents had to peel me off the ceiling!!!):

 

 

Buy DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal: A Harvest of Memories from the Fan Who Knew Him Best

to enjoy the REST OF THE STORY, which turned out to be more than 30 years long!