Today Jon is driving me to Alajuela so I can get an anti-gravity chair. WOO HOO!  That is, IF the one (1!) they have doesn’t get sold before we get there this morning!

 

It has been quite the process finding one here in this region of Costa Rica!

 

Jon and Francisco have dedicated time on several different days looking for one for me. They’ve found a couple in different stores in Escazu, but that’s on the far side of San Jose and at least 90 minutes away in heavy traffic, so those options were ruled out.

 

They looked beyond PriceSmart

 

PriceSmart is the first place they found that carry them, but not in all stores. The one in Alajuela didn’t have any. The nearest one that did was — you guessed it! — in Escazu.

 

But finally — finally! — last night they found one (1) in Alajuela at another place, called to have it held for me overnight if possible.  T’was not possible, so we’re driving there today, early, to see if we can snag it before someone else does.  Fingers crossed!!!

 

Jon says he’ll also drive me home afterward, so I asked if we can pick up some bags of Bentonite cat litter too (so I don’t have to schlep 44-pound bags onto a bus!) and he said, “Of course!”

 

He will pick me up around 9 a.m. at Mercado Municipal and then our anti-gravity chair adventure will begin  — and hopefully end if the chair is still available where he found it last night! It has been an almost two month process!  Whew!

 

Interview Went Well

 

My interview (about my transgender journey) went well; the moderator said I did a great job and the audience of professional counselors was engaged, appreciative, and asked some great follow up questions. One of them commented about how spot on my youthful trans experience aligned with the young transgender patients that they see and counsel.  One wanted to know where to get my book. (Amazon.)

 

What I did was read what you can read yourself (and may already have!) on this post, minus the book blurb at the end (obviously, or the question about where to get it wouldn’t have been asked.)

 

After I read that, the participants were given an opportunity to ask follow up questions. There were no surprises among them. I’d been asked the same questions by others before during interviews, including:

 

Does it bother me to be misgendered?

 

Answer: Only if the people misgendering me are completely aware of my preferred pronouns and refuse to use them. This is because I don’t introduce myself to people with, “Hi! I’m Kris and my pronouns are he and him,” so I quite often am misgendered, probably because of my hips and higher-pitched voice.

 

If the association gets extended beyond a preliminary, cursory one-time introduction, I will sometimes correct them later, but not always.

 

Example: Dear Diane Cooner discovered my pronouns only when she visited my Facebook page months after becoming my neighbor in El Cajon. She apologized profusely for having misgendered me for months, but I told her not to worry!

 

That’s because I never let her know (verbally) about them, and I’m not militant about my pronouns, anyway.  Life is too short to be running around correcting people’s perception of me.

 

As I said to the group yesterday evening, I know who I am. My gender has never been in doubt. So, I let it go like water off a duck’s back.  UNLESS someone I know, who knows me well and knows I’m trans, refuses to respect my pronouns.  That sticks in my craw, but I don’t go militant and correct them.

 

Although — confession time, here! — I have at times been tempted to misgender them so they can discover what it feels like!

But that seems mean to me, just as it feels mean when they do it to me.

 

What was my post-surgery (male masculinized chest) experience like?

 

It was liberating!!! For the first time since childhood, I recognized my chest as belonging to me!

 

I also hoped that the surgery would allow friends and the members of my family who were hesitant to use my correct pronouns when referring to me or introducing me would be less hesitant to do so, but that didn’t change anything.  Those who adapted did so before I had the surgery. (Thank you, Lisa Twining and Chris Bailey!) Those who never did adapt, continue to refuse to acknowledge my pronouns. (My older sister and two nieces and one nephew have all respected my pronouns since they learned I’m trans. Thank you Laurel, Wendy, Sirkka and Abdullah!)

 

Others who have known me for decades have been doing their darndest to remember to use masculine pronouns because they’ve known me until ten years ago as “she/her.” I love their tenacity for desiring to break the habit!  I just smile and say, “It’s all right” because I know their heart and intentions are in the right place.

 

I wish I could recall every question

 

…that was asked, but during interviews, I more or less “blank out” mentally except for the immediate question I’m responding to, so recalling them all later is always difficult, even impossible. Which is why I usually ask for a recording so I can see what I said and bring it back into my consciousness.  But I don’t know if a moderator of a professional ZOOM meeting can or will allow me a personal copy to review,so I’ll just need to leave this here with the other questions unanswered unless that happens!

 

I had a very good time during the interview  

 

It was good to have something to say to an interested group of people, to feel I made a contribution of some sort.

 

Being retired and more or less off the “interview circuit” sometimes feels “lonely” because there’s always something worth contributing (in the arenas where I have had experience), and I don’t get the chance all that often anymore.  So, it was gratifying and I’m super grateful that I was asked to participate and contribute.