I had no idea that a coloring book would offer such peace and serenity during this turbulent time in our history.

But it does.

As addicted as I am to urging compassionate people to vote blue up and down the ballot in November (and before, wherever votes are cast), I have realized that crusades and urgency of this magnitude tear me up inside.

So, I’m using walks and coloring books to occupy my time (since no additional writing work is coming in). They’re inexpensive to buy, as are the gel pens, so they keep me occupied for very little money, which is crucial to me right now.

I can’t be frivolous with my paltry income, which consists of a low-end Social Security payment and a far more anemic, puny pension from Warner Bros. But every dollar helps and I am soooo grateful for my ten+ years at WB/Time Warner or I’d be getting far less in SS than I do, too.  As a person assigned female at birth, my meager income has always been less than a male’s holding the same positions, even though women live longer and need the income more than men do in order not to outlive their savings. And my savings have always been meager, for the same reason: I usually just made enough to get by with a few extra dollars to send toward retirement.  So, there are numerous “worries” that could take me down if I dwell on them.

Instead of dwelling these days, I’m walking and coloring.   I walk  between 7K and 12K steps every day, five to six days a week, and I color. I also read — a lot — but I am focusing more on books that uplift, encourage and inspire instead of the history books I’ve consumed to excess, none of which make me feel very good about where we are as a species. White people (I’m white!) come across in history books like locusts, consuming or destroying everything in our path, and we seem to be doing it to this very moment. Well, the richest, most powerful people are, the ones with all the money and influence on our politics and planet.

So, I have to divest myself of the angst. I don’t drink alcohol or do drugs, so I need something else to dull the pain of watching this shit unfold while knowing I can do only so much to stem the flow of blood and save the patient.  All I can do is cry PAY ATTENTION TO THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE PARTIES AND VOTE, and the people who vote reliably already know why it’s absolutely crucial this time.  I donate what little I can to help get out the vote and to register voters in swing states. That’s all I can do that won’t upset my equilibrium. I used to canvass and call for Democratic candidates, but those are investments of time and energy I no longer can spare. They take too much out of me.   So, I do what I do best: I write about the crisis on a regular basis.  But not so often anymore that I suffer emotionally as a result. I can no longer sustain continued angst.  It’s up to younger folks to carry that part of the responsibility.  At age 73, I need more peace and serenity in my life than life seems to want to surrender right now.  So I TAKE IT!

I color pictures of cute critters, and I smile.

It’s the best I can do. And it’s enough. I’ve spent my time in hell. And may again, if Trump and his minions get back into office. Until that happens (God forbid!!), I’m going to grab what little peace and serenity I can.  IF he gets back into the Oval Office, I have a plan to move out of the country and vote from afar for the U.S. to recover and reform toward compassion and love for all of our citizens.  This plan keeps me feeling sane, safe, and okay. I have an escape planned if the US turns fascist and they start coming after me and so many of the other folks I love and support with my votes: brown, black, LGBTQIA+, women, etc.

In the meantime…

“Bless the beasts and the children

For in this world they have no voice…

They have no choice.”