I’ve been so focused on other things recently that I let three anniversaries slip by me.

 

The first one — August 23rd — was the one-year anniversary of my chest masculinization surgery, but I had just so recently been able to pull out the surgical tube from my recent panniculectomy surgery that I was celebrating that instead of the fact that I have been mammary-free for a solid year. And chest masculinization was a freedom I had waited so long to achieve that it deserved more attention than I gave it.

 

So, I just went outside for a hour and lounged in the back yard, shirtless, to belatedly celebrate it!  It’s warm enough today in the shade to do that.  (It was too hot and sunny out to stay in the sun that long, so I went out early this morning just as the sun was rising over Mt. Rainier to get a “sunshine fix” on my chest.)  The scars are barely visible and it’s safe and okay to expose them to the sun now. (Scars shouldn’t be exposed to sunshine for a year, I learned.)

 

The next one — September 7th — was the 76th anniversary of the marriage of DeForest and Carolyn Kelley.  I remembered late that evening, but not in enough time to mention it during the day.

 

And yesterday was the 55th anniversary of the premiere of the original Star Trek series in the United States. That show saved my life, gave a lot of us teenagers in the mid-60’s a reason to hope for a better future, and culminated in a 30-plus year friendship with the Kelley’s, all of which has been recounted in my book DeForest Kelley Up Close and Personal and book series Kelley Phone Tag. And I’m pleased to announce that my friend Thorsten Walch is translating Up Close into German for publication in early 2022. When the official launch date comes out, and the new title is known, I’ll let you know about that.

 

But I have recently mentioned (in an earlier post here) the upcoming September 11th anniversary of the passing of my “serval son” Deaken.

 

That’s a lot of anniversaries!  And the fact that Deaken passed away five years to the day before 9/11 has never been lost on me. September 11th is a very potent anniversary for me for both reasons.  September 11th, 2001 gave me permission to sob for all the losses I had been unable to sob for before because I was in the trenches and being strong for others — the passing of Mom and Dad and De within a 14 month period in 1998 and 1999, and Deaken in 1996.

 

They are happy anniversaries and sad anniversaries, but they are all about love, which is the most important thing.  When the Twin Towers came down, the whole world mourned, and love was everywhere. For a while. Then things got ugly. And that’s too bad. The powers that be at the time just couldn’t leave well enough alone. They had to fight fire with fire, in a nation that didn’t even attack us on 9/11. Go figure.

 

But what I remember most about that day and the weeks that followed was the love felt and shown, and the dedication of hundreds of first and second responders to either helping or recovering the DNA of every last victim of the attack… and the people who fed them while they worked.

 

Fred Rogers recounted that when he was a young boy and something horrible happened, his mother counseled him, “Look for the helpers. Always look for the helpers.”  He was directed to focus on what was GOOD about people, not about what was bad.  That’s why he grew into the remarkable man he became. His focus was on the helpers among us  And there are so many!  So many more helpers than harmers. If this wasn’t true, we simply wouldn’t have lasted this long as a species. (Alas, it seems that a lot of people at the helm of countries and corporations aren’t among the helpers. They’re helping themselves and their sponsors/stakeholders, but that’s just about it.)

 

When enough of us dedicate ourselves to being helpers, maybe we’ll reach a tipping point and the pendulum will swing  in the direction of lovingkindness and compassion for our fellow beings (human and animal) and our home on this beautiful planet.

 

Martin Luther King Jr said the moral arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice.

 

As each of us step away from “Just Us” and toward “Justice”, we’re helping reach that tipping point.  It would be nice to still be here when that happens but at my age, I’m not holding my breath for it anymore.

 

But like Krishnamurti said, it can only happen in the NOW. We only have power in the now.  What we do now, today, in every moment, determines what tomorrow will bring to our society and the world.

 

I hope it’s love!